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Chuck Norris WoT jokes

Chuck Norris joke

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Whatt #1 Posted 15 August 2012 - 08:11 PM

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Hi tankers, I hope you are fans of Chuck Norris jokes, 'cos I'd like to collect and make some new here in this topic (didn't find it yet elsewhere). I appreciate your creativity to continue the list :-)

1. Chuck Norris is the only WoT player who's got 16 enemy kills.
2. Chuck Norris is the only player whose gameplay starts immediately after map loading.
3. Chuck Norris doesn't need gold ammo to penetrate thick armor - he jumps to the cannon and orders commander to shoot himself towards enemy tanks.
4. Chuck Norris doesn't whine about the MM - he creates it on his own. When he does not like it he rearranges it manually.
5. One time a Maus tried to ram Chuck Norris' T1Cunningham. Until these days we don't know where has the Maus landed.
6. Chuck Norris' base can't be captured. His base only captures enemies' tanks.
7. When Chuck Norris is bored shooting custom shells, he practices his kung-fu manuevers in close combat. Moreover, the repair costs of kicks-damage are doubled in comparison to custom shells damage.
8. Chuck Norris is so good driver he can climb the steepest hills with T95 faster than others with T-50-2 can do.
9. Sometimes a ghost shells appear in the game. But only few people know that the ghost-shelled tank drives Chuck Norris. Don't ever expect to hit him with single point of damage.
10. Chuck Norris win to lose ratio is 101 %.

2nd wave :-)
11. Chuck Norris doesn't need premium, his account gives 200 % bonus in normal user mode.
12. Chuck Norris' artillery fires Texas Ranger badges. It doesn't blow up tanks, but damages crew - average damage is 4 men killed, 1 injured and half body bones cracked.
13. Chuck Norris' T1 Cunningham has view range of 540m.
14. Chuck Norris' crew skills are: Chuck Norris' sence, Fear of Chuck Norris, Strenght of Chuck Norris, Jeans of Chuck Norris, Smile of Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris' deadly double jump-kick.
15. Chuck Norris is the only player whose crew has reached 135 % efficiency use (not to mention he has a permanent + 10 % plus of the Chuck Norris in the tank skill).
16. Everytime when whiners posted asks of nerfing Chuck's account, they disappeared in the game. Don't ask where or why - Chuck is about to find you.
17. Chuck Norris' platoons can be up to 4 people large. But Chuck drives solo every time, he has no time to wait for the others.
18. When Chuck Norris' has something more important to do in the time of battle, he can freeze the gameplay and get back later.
19. Chuck Norris sometimes plays Dragon Ridge map even in 7.5 patch. He likes the bamboo - it is perfect material for training his kicks and moves.
20. Do you know why is the physics going to be implemented? Chuck Norris asked developers to make the game harder and allowed others to move freely in furious pointless effort to evade his rage. He is just giving us more time before we die in the battle.

Edited by Whatt, 16 August 2012 - 12:05 PM.


Chase_Young #2 Posted 15 August 2012 - 08:15 PM

    Lance-corporal

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Hah very nice article the best was number 5. xD :Smile_veryhappy:

baris90 #3 Posted 15 August 2012 - 08:28 PM

    Staff Sergeant

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    01-27-2012
i say no

DIRTYTASK_45 #4 Posted 15 August 2012 - 08:28 PM

    Corporal

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    12-15-2010

Something like this... ?




Edited by DIRTYTASK_45, 15 August 2012 - 08:29 PM.


fwstriker #5 Posted 15 August 2012 - 08:51 PM

    Staff Sergeant

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    01-14-2011
Chuck Norris E100 lower front plate can not be penetrated by T7 tanks.

Sotahullu #6 Posted 15 August 2012 - 09:03 PM

    Warrant Officer

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    10-15-2010
Chuck Norris doens't whine in the forums, Others whine about him!

Artillery can't shoot Norris because he has spaced armor.

Duke Nukem has Balls of Steel, Chuck Norris has Balls of Iron! He dind't like it so he stole Duke balls. After that, Duke has been known as Duke Luke.

Grand_Moff_Tano #7 Posted 17 August 2012 - 01:43 PM

    Field Marshal

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    05-20-2011
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