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What if WWII nations played WOT?


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Drogzar #1 Posted 13 September 2012 - 05:53 PM

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This is a nonsense that just pop up in my mind.

(I'm from a country that did not participate in the WWII so I'm not trying to humiliate any other nation, nor trying to mock the WWII, just thought that might be funny, so, if you lack sense of humor or you are too patriotic to have a laugh at your own country, please, skip this post)

So... what kind of player would be each nation of the WWII if they played WOT?

- USA: Camper TD that stays behind the arty and only attacks (with devastating effects) when the enemy goes near, at the end of the game.

- France: The poor guy that has to defend a flank alone, dies and, in anger, gives the position of the other allies.

- UK: Slow heavy, going to get a good position and in 13:30 sees that is losing 0:5 and says "omg, noob team".

- USSR: Arty that shots even if there are allies near.

- Germany: Medium tank (in platoon) that roflstomps the entire enemy team until he reaches the base with the campers that kill his platoonmates and finally gets flanked and ragequits.

And finally... what ALL of you were expecting:

- Poland: "Siema, I scout". Dies in the first 30 seconds.

Please, feel free to rework these nations and add others.

dimovski #2 Posted 13 September 2012 - 06:04 PM

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Finland : The guy who drives in an StuG into battle ,and kills alone the whole enemy team of heavy tanks with clever flanking and high morale, leaving the crew the crawl out of their tanks :) (im not from finland,or near it ,for that matter, but if you read somewhere that they werent using bobmers ,so that they wont hurt civilians,and how they pushed the soviets... that tells a lot)

BravelyRanAway #3 Posted 13 September 2012 - 06:06 PM

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Ireland : Indecisive Light... not sure which side to back, so just has a drink . :Smile-tongue:

Edited by Leadbucket, 13 September 2012 - 06:25 PM.


krazypenguin #4 Posted 13 September 2012 - 06:14 PM

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Switzerland would be WG themselves - just takes everyone's gold!  (Just joking guys!!)

EDIT - I know Switzerland were neutral (well, nominally anyway...)

Edited by krazypenguin, 13 September 2012 - 06:16 PM.


TheDOD #5 Posted 13 September 2012 - 06:15 PM

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Denmark- Team about to lose, request to change the side. The enemy side loses because of constantly getting spootet, changes back again

Sweden- AFK noob

Edited by TheDOD, 13 September 2012 - 06:17 PM.


Darkherring #6 Posted 13 September 2012 - 06:38 PM

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What about Poland, I would disagree. If we want to base it on history, I would say it's:
Goes as a t-34 to protect flank. He is accompanied by Churchill and ARL 44. As soon they see Tiger coming, British and French turns back leaving t-34 alone. Despite this, he manages to stop Tiger for 3 minutes. But then IS-2 comes and together with Tiger they went medieval of T-34's ass. :P

PanzyBattalion #7 Posted 13 September 2012 - 06:47 PM

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Japan: Races about owning in a LT for first 10 mins of the game....then get roflstomped by US.

Italy: Tries to own throught the game, gets killed about 9-8mins from end, spends rest of it reporting friendly positions to enemy.

skipyzor #8 Posted 13 September 2012 - 06:51 PM

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View PostDerpyHooves, on 13 September 2012 - 06:47 PM, said:

Japan: Races about owning in a LT for first 10 mins of the game....then get roflstomped by US.

Italy: Tries to own throught the game, gets killed about 9-8mins from end, spends rest of it reporting friendly positions to enemy.

The Japan should sound like:A Light Tank with only 5% HP left , going for a ramming , screaming BANZAI!

krazypenguin #9 Posted 13 September 2012 - 08:38 PM

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Belgium are the Pz38Na and A-20 drivers - they get absolutely screwed by Matchmaking...

Kazomir #10 Posted 13 September 2012 - 11:15 PM

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Germany: The player that allways uses free XP to unlock all modules of his tank before he even plays it. This guy Is a campy guy that likes to snipe, but rushes when he sees the opportinity

SSSR: A lemming train player.

France: The guy that gets killed first, despite having the top tank.

US: (My type) Clicks "To Battle" Then alt+tabs to the forum to check what is new, gets carried away, then suddenly he realizes he is IN THE GAME, alt+Tab back to the game to see half of the enemy team dead. Ofc this is first victory of the day.

RoyalBengalTiger #11 Posted 13 September 2012 - 11:34 PM

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Poland:

Player lucky he just upgunned his Tier 2 TKS to a 20 mm autocannon.
For some reason (possibly the fact there's only a few players logged in so far), after clicking battle, only a single Tier 3 7TP light tank upgraded to the Bofors 37 mm gun and 2 other TKS tankettes, both armed with machine guns are the only friendlies.
The enemy team consists of 3 Pz I's 6 Pz II's, 2 Pz III's and a stock Pz IV.

The player ends the match with an Orlik's medal, but loses the battle.

PanzyBattalion #12 Posted 14 September 2012 - 07:55 AM

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View Postskipyzor, on 13 September 2012 - 06:51 PM, said:

The Japan should sound like:A Light Tank with only 5% HP left , going for a ramming , screaming BANZAI!

I was going for more their WW2 performance, early war the owned pretty bad, then they got roflstomped near the end by the US :p

steview162 #13 Posted 14 September 2012 - 09:28 AM

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The US would obviously get over-excited on coffee and gung-ho-ness, and commence friendly fire. This would obviously be blamed on faulty intel; the enemy dressed in green tanks to fool them.

Tank_number_100 #14 Posted 17 September 2012 - 06:59 PM

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<p>The Netherlands: infantry, once/if WG adds it to the game. (They only had one tank)EDIT: verified information

Ubertoaster #15 Posted 17 September 2012 - 08:46 PM

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Bulgaria - sits in the base with the maxed-out Pz IV and 35/8(t), while Romania, Italy, Czechoslovakia and etc. are led by Germany to the enemy base, only to be beaten to a pulp by 9999999+ soviet players that say "kill all", suddenly changes side and kills the last defender in the very end of the map.

Yugoslavia - gets rushed. One of the two tanks survives and vanishes in the forresty-mounty region and delivers from time to time a 37mm HE in the 80mm flank of the Axis war machine.

Romania - the loltraktor that was brought in the t10 battles - gets told to guard the flank - gets roflstomped - loses battle. Another battle - same thing - same result - war lost. Romania sells loltraktor for a bunch of T-34/85s.

Greece - initially heroically defends one flank against Italy. Britain comes with 3 tanks. Germany crushes Yugoslavia. Britain rage quits and moves to another battle. Greece gets roflstomped.

DeszczeNiespokojne #16 Posted 17 September 2012 - 11:36 PM

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Spain - im too scared, i wont fight!

Edited by DeszczeNiespokojne, 17 September 2012 - 11:37 PM.


Panzer_Fenris #17 Posted 17 September 2012 - 11:45 PM

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Norway: Light tank get taken off guard by several high-tier german meds and heavies. Against all odds, he manage to take down one of them(Blücher) before getting tracked and killed. He remains in the game as a spectator, cheer for his team and keeps distracting the enemy at key moments trough chat.(Resistance movement)

Vioras #18 Posted 19 September 2012 - 04:07 PM

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The Netherlands: Guys let's run to the water as fast as possible and dig in!

Ronineter #19 Posted 19 September 2012 - 05:55 PM

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Holland: lets fight a tiger with our awesome renaultFT(or FT 17). This is our defense and we scream, HOLD THE LINE, the planes will help us out!

Tank_number_100 #20 Posted 22 September 2012 - 07:45 PM

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View PostRonineter, on 19 September 2012 - 05:55 PM, said:

Holland: lets fight a Pz4 with our awesome renaultFT(or FT 17). This is our defense and we scream, HOLD THE LINE, the planes will help us out!

Fixed it for ya.




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