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[Parody] Developer Q&A: The Russian Answers


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Trilandian #1 Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:48 PM

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Due to a request from Harabeishio, I am starting this thread to (good naturedly) parody Silentstalker's famous Q&A thread. All contributers are welcome (but please try to maintain the format and use proper English).

His original post:

View PostHarabeishio, on 06 January 2013 - 08:12 PM, said:

06.01.2013 Part 3

-SerB states that Jagdpanzer E-100 is bugged. Shots from it's 170mm gun often do damage to the track and not to the tank. This obvious bug will be fixed, and it will now damage both tracks, as intended
-SerB says that Serene coast map is unbalanced, this will be fixed in the next patch, and the waters in the western part will be made deeper to balance the high hills on the eastern part.
-Horns will be re-introduced, one of them being a screaming man saying: MOVE OUT OF MY WAY YOU CUNT!!!
-A feature of moving clouds was planned, but postponed, because the artist accidentally drew only penis and butt-shaped clouds. It seems like she was in a "rather good mood" when SerB asked her why she did it. What she answered is unknown.
-In the awaited rebalancing of all tanks, russian tanks will be rebalanced. (SSS:nerfed like shit)
-Type 59 will make it to the ingame store sometimes this year.
-Type 59G will also make it to the ingame store sometimes this year. According to SerB it will cost over 9000 gold.
-Players complained that on desert maps, it was too tough to move trough the sand. Devs will replace the sand with snow instead.
-According to SerB, M3 Lee is overperforming for a tier 4, gun and hull traverse speed will be nerfed. To balance the nerfs the devs increaced the turret traverse speed.
-E-100's armor layout is indeed incorrect, and side armor will be nerfed from 130 to 120, the sideskirts will be aslo removed, and will later be aviable as "additional armor"
-I WAS KIDDING ABOUT THE RUSSIAN TANKS, BUFF THEM!!
-Tesla guns won't be added into the game, as they were deemed "unhistorical"
-E-90 Krokodil won't be added into the game, so you can now shut up about it.
-New physics enchancements will allow tanks to fly...for short amounts of time.
-Some player asked about new game modes. Answer: 1000 years RO ban

(seriously, i think a thread that parodies this one might be needed)

06.01.2013 Part 4

-After extensive deliberation, it has been decided that the transmission will no longer be part of the engine hitbox. On an unrelated note, it is planned to make the engine on the E-50 and E-75 twice as likely to catch fire.
-To counter the extensive artillery nerfs, and to make the game more historically accurate, it is planned to give the SU-85, SU-100, SU-152, ISU-152, Object 704 and Object 268 the ability to fire in strategic view. Players who complained about Russian bias received 3 months RO ban. Arty-whiners received 6 months RO ban.
-It's likely that in a few patches the Valentine, Valentine II, Matilda, Matilda IV, Matilda Black Prince, Churchill I, Churchill III, Churchill VII and Black Prince will have scout matchmaking.
-A fix to the bug where a team with more Soviet tanks than the other team could sometimes lose is currently in the works.
-New documents from Bovington reveal that the AMX 40 was not a tank but an experimental submarine. Once a suitable tier 4 light tank is found, the AMX 40 will be replaced.
-The T23 will be rebalanced in one of the upcoming patches.
-Storm denied a rumor that the T92 is going to get a drum magazine.
-The consumable "Jet Fuel" for the T-50-2 is still in development, and won't come in patch 0.8.3.

Ioituma #2 Posted 06 January 2013 - 08:52 PM

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Q: When will we see the second German TD line?
A: Last quarter of 2011.

Silentstalker #3 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:06 PM

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:Smile_veryhappy:

Harabeishio #4 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:06 PM

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-New feature of the game will be added: Load T-50-2 with explosives instead of ammo, ram it into something and watch the fireworks.

Trilandian #5 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:07 PM

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View PostSilentstalker, on 06 January 2013 - 09:06 PM, said:

:Smile_veryhappy:

Glad you approve.  :Smile_blinky:

IBLiTZKRiEGI #6 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:08 PM

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Why did Germany lose WW2?

Because WG did the coding.

Steiner011 #7 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:08 PM

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Q: When we can expect EU tech tree ingame?
A:(SerB) In third quarter of 2014,because our dev team has severe problems balancing EU puny vehicles in comparison to our glorious Soviet machines.

Q: Is there a long term plan to keep premium ammo for credits available ingame?
A: Does a bear takes a dump in the woods?

Q: How do you feel about current disbalance considering extensive usage of premium ammo?
A: Working as intended. Any future complaints regarding this can be sent to wouldyoulikeapermaban@banhammer.com

AngryBanana #8 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:09 PM

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Quote

Garage battle – players can use several tanks (one after another) in one battle (“limited respawn”).  Q1 2012
Escort (only a few tanks from the team have the ability to capture enemy's base, the opposite team is to stop potential invaders).  Q1 2012
Historical battle - faction based battles with historically justified restrictions on vehicles and modules available.  2012
Oh and:

Quote

tank destroyers Marder III, Dickermax, Nashorn, Sturer Emil, Jagdpanzer E-100  Q4 2011

Edited by AngryBanana, 06 January 2013 - 09:10 PM.


Villan1 #9 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:10 PM

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great laugh. +1

Ikarases #10 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:10 PM

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SU-152

The SU-152 (СУ-152) was a Soviet self-propelled heavy howitzer used during World War II.

Oh wait, game balance...

Well, guys who played Men of War series know what I´m talking about :)

Edited by Ikarases, 06 January 2013 - 09:12 PM.


spichopat #11 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:37 PM

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Will you be buffing E100?
Storm: I myself play it, I feel like it's overpowered, we will be nerfing the penetration to HE shells from howitzer level (108AP, 86HE 203HEAT)

Steiner011 #12 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:42 PM

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Q: How do you feel about current MM system?
A:  We have no strong feelings one way or another.(approximate translantation from russian)

Q: Why artillery has been hardca.....
A: (SerB nods significantly to men with guns in the back of the room(sound of pistols cocking),points with his head and says "Next question,please."

Q: Can you reveal some features of upcoming 8.4 patch?
A:  Of course we can.We will introduce diamond ammo,which will bring brand new game experience(malicious giggles in the back),also a new rendering engine will allow 6,84% more realistic rocks and stones,which we hope will bring a revolution to a tactic on the battlefield.Oh,and dont forget our brand new SpamChatTM system,now with Vulcan language support.

Q: Thank you.
A: You`re welcome.

Sturmtiger_304 #13 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:48 PM

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-Bots will now help to drive & shoot with your tank, as a lot of people complained that this game had a lot of bad players. This has now been fixed.

-All of the E-series now haves no lower front plate, so you cannot argue with the thickness of it anymoore.

-The 150mm gun on the E-100 has been switched with the 75mm gun instead, as we heard a lot of complaining of the 150mm gun, the Maus has also been affected by this change.

exauroura #14 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:51 PM

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Q: Ive heard rumors the type 59 is never going on sale again is this true?
A:Who said that? Utter nonsense. We will be buffing the penetration, moving the ammo rack into the turret and giving the Type 59 Tier 6-7 special matchmaking and increasing the price to 25k gold.

Edited by exauroura, 06 January 2013 - 09:52 PM.


Ioituma #15 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:54 PM

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Q: Will you separate the gearbox hitbox from the engine hitbox, so that it doesn't catches fire anymore?
A: We tried to do it but ran into serious coding problems and game engine limitations. As a workaround we removed both engine and gearbox from German tanks, so that they do not catch fire anymore. But also do not move. A new mechanic is introduced so that you can choose your spawn point before battle start when driving, I mean manning, one of these tanks.

The patch will also include a new premium German T8 medium tank, the Panther B (for bunker)
Posted Image
It won't catch fire but ammo rack might be an issue. We will wait for server stats to eventually rebalance it and decide to remove or not the ammo rack.

Kolblidudsen #16 Posted 06 January 2013 - 09:58 PM

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A: What will come in 8.5?
B: We are thinking about a tank nitrous oxide system, which will give +300% horsepower for 5 sec. Also, we may add new exterior option: spoilers! Most of them are going to give a little aerodynamic speed bonus.
A:Any other changes?
B:Yes , flying tanks! All tech trees will receive a branch of super fast, aerodynamic and overall great vehicles full of-
<sounds of shooting>
***
A: How about KV-1S rebalancing ?
B:We are thinking about a KV-1S buff! That vehicle is really bad at tier IX!
A:But it's a tier VI!
B:It's on tier VI?! What?!

tango_delta #17 Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:04 PM

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- any rumors about the 0.9.0 patch are completely made up (SS: it's not even decided what tier 12 arties there be in 8.6)


Silentstalker #18 Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:10 PM

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Introducing the new British tier 8 scout light tank to come in 8.4: Bob Semple

Posted Image

Dont_Stop #19 Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:10 PM

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More please!  :Smile_teethhappy:  :Smile_teethhappy:

Harabeishio #20 Posted 06 January 2013 - 10:21 PM

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View PostSilentstalker, on 06 January 2013 - 10:10 PM, said:

Introducing the new British tier 8 scout light tank to come in 8.4: Bob Semple

Posted Image
And his russian counterpart- Traktor-1!
Posted Image

And the german counterpart, Pz I-III
Posted Image




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