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The Guffy declaration...for those who rant!


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Sgt_Guffy #1 Posted 10 March 2013 - 12:26 PM

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The Guffy Declaration


Be it known that I, the party of the first part, you, the party of the second part and all subsequent successors in title, Wargaming’s parent company, associates and affiliates being the party of the third part, being of sound mind and body hereby declare that nothing following this with make the remotest bit of sense, but that doesn’t matter so long as there are chocolate cookies. That said, anything said, implied conveyed by telepathy, text, speech, excluding morons who use mobile text speech in a chat environment or forum, that offends, that is considered rude, nasty, hurtful, including back biting, front biting, trolling, clan bitching, snipes, vicious, malicious, suspicious or anything likely to compel anyone to moan, whine, criticize, complain, ad nauseum however “bete noire” the person, shall deemed to be, or are preventing anyone from having fun and enjoying themselves, will take themselves outside and embark on a session of self flagellation with a wet lettuce until exhausted or dead , whichever comes first. Any reference to the above, whether real or fictitious, is purely coincidental and no animal, plant, tank, alien or pink bunny was harmed in during the input of this eplistle. Any mistakes, omissions, submissions, missions, permissions whether illegal or immoral, (hereafter known as an “Ectar”) including or excluding having a first class honours degree, shall develop a sense of humour, move on, chill, grow up, or any other cliché, piece of rhetoric that makes you rub your hands in self congratulation on how clever you have been, or any tort laid down in Donoghue v Stevenson 1932, whether admitted to or not, shall be declared null and void, because it is probably so trite and boring it would not be worth reading anyway.  It is further declared that any reference to gold ammo’, “noob,” “noob like,” “noobishness,” “noob team,” “idiots,” “siema,” or versions thereof, references to retardness, morons, excluding the reference made hereinto before and above in the former text of this declaration, specifically excluding reference to “team killers” of any description, because they deserve everything coming to them, but including any comment made by Stat’ whores, in any shape or form, implied or sneakily brought into a conversation, or in gameplay and general chat, whether by accident or otherwise will now make the declarer boring in the eyes of its host and it will be cast out into the wilderness and have sticky buns thrown at it and shall forever be pointed at with accusing fingers and laughed at, unless specifically excluded by persons who like boring people irrespective of gender, disability, sexual orientation, but shall include people who can’t spell or use correct punctuation, so they may they be cast into the fiery pits of hell. It is further declared that there is nothing wrong in being nice and nothing nice about being wrong, except it won’t be held against the party, hereinto and before, thereto and aforesaid, irrespective of whether said person is made to look a complete pillock and made to feel thoroughly ashamed of themselves. It is now decreed, now and forever, that anyone or anything stated in any chat or the forums that is slightly irritating, very irritating, or making anyone scratch their fingernails down the wallpaper, the offended party may now invoke “The Guffy Declaration” and tell the accused party to go look it up, which should keep them sufficiently entertained while enabling everyone else to escape.

This declaration signed and dated by Sergeant Guffy on the tenth day of whichever deity you follow.

Edited by Sgt_Guffy, 10 March 2013 - 01:17 PM.


Ikarases #2 Posted 10 March 2013 - 12:33 PM

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I advise you to add in some TL;DR, because I do not handle law English very well :Smile_mellow: It would take me years to find out what have you wanted to say :)

BravelyRanAway #3 Posted 10 March 2013 - 12:45 PM

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eeerh?......

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