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SerB's Law of Tanking states that...


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Fluffy_Bunny_Pants #1 Posted 05 October 2013 - 11:53 AM

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*
POPULAR

  • match making will always put you in the team of red players while the other are all purple who play for a living.
  • when taking any slow tank out for the daily double the game will finish before you even leave the cap, your team win within seconds and you earn 14 eps.
  • when playing any German tank you will be hit for 40 damage and your engine will catch fire leaving you a smoldering wreak within seconds of meeting the enemy.
  • if you play a scout or a non-turreted TD you will always have confined city battles.
  • when you have a twenty streak run of loses you will win one game. That gives you false hope that the streak is broken and you have another twenty loses.
  • your team instead of formulating coordinated battle plans during the countdown act like they are in a dating site, wanting to know where you are from and would you like to be BFF with them.
  • your team will, for no reason, spurt out rounds randomly in the cap zone.
  • on seeing that you have 5:2 advantage with heavies at the start you realise that all your heavies are stock. And that the drivers have 2K battles and a 200 Personal Rating between them.
  • when you take a big slow heavy out to drive you always get huge open maps and by the time you trundle to the action the game is over.
  • if you think you have cover arty one shots you 0.5 secs before your Sixth Sense skill kicks in.
  • you will get ammo racked from 400m away by a lucky shot from a KV camping at the back, "protecting arty".
  • the KV camping "protecting arty" on your team will not hit a thing.
  • when you have five kills and you are ranging down on the last for Top Gun they will either go drown themselves or that KV camping "protecting arty" 400m away will one shot their ammo rack.
  • you will always have the Troll Platoon on your team. This Troll Platoon will consist of a PZ38na and two Vickers Mk1.
  • in a low tier game the player with 20K battles sealclubbing in a T-18 will be uber proficient if on their team, die within seconds if on yours then spend the entire match screaming "n00b, cake suckers, L2p" etc.
  • Team Killers are always in your team, never on the opposite side.
  • when you are in a TD and spend the time learning weak spots, take your time to aim and ammo rack the heavy tank they will never acknowledge your skill but call you a "gold using camping n00b".
  • the opposing team never have AFKs, match making always ensures that they are on your team.
  • in the first few seconds of any game you play your team will forget totally how to drive and will spend the first few minutes banging into one another as if a dog was driving.
  • someone asks you to follow them and against your better judgment you do. you immediately find yourself caught in a crossfire or your new "friend" has driven off a cliff.
  • you spend ages lining up that perfect shot only to accidentally TK when someone drives between you and the target just as you hit the fire button.

Edited by Fluffy_Bunny_Pants, 05 October 2013 - 02:13 PM.


SABAOTH #2 Posted 05 October 2013 - 11:57 AM

    Major

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ok some were funny  :smile:

darlykappa #3 Posted 05 October 2013 - 12:06 PM

    Private

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World Of Tanks in a nut shell :honoring:

Vaderan #4 Posted 05 October 2013 - 12:10 PM

    Warrant Officer

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exactly my ingame experience :-)

Chimeratech #5 Posted 05 October 2013 - 12:14 PM

    Lieutenant Сolonel

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SerB has gained the rank of Grand Master Troll

Frodoofpool #6 Posted 05 October 2013 - 12:19 PM

    Private

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Lmfao +1

Sturmtiger_304 #7 Posted 05 October 2013 - 12:47 PM

    Brigadier

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View PostFluffy_Bunny_Pants, on 05 October 2013 - 11:53 AM, said:

  • someone asks you to follow them and against your better judgment you do. you immediately find yourself caught in a crossfire or your new "friend" has driven off a cliff.
I should really learn not to do this all the time.

PowJay #8 Posted 05 October 2013 - 01:12 PM

    Brigadier

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That gave me a good laugh. We all know EXACTLY what you are talking about! +1

Sickie79 #9 Posted 05 October 2013 - 04:01 PM

    Staff Sergeant

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    02-24-2013
...I'm guessing you're head of development?

Kvaak #10 Posted 05 October 2013 - 04:28 PM

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View PostSturmtiger_304, on 05 October 2013 - 12:47 PM, said:

I should really learn not to do this all the time.
.
The first rule of WoT is you never help anyone if it puts you at a significant risk.

Edited by Kvaak, 05 October 2013 - 04:28 PM.


Feinel #11 Posted 05 October 2013 - 05:11 PM

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View PostKvaak, on 05 October 2013 - 04:28 PM, said:

.
The first rule of WoT is you never help anyone. if it puts you at a significant risk.

Fixed.

This thread is the perfect starting point for any friend of mine wanting to know more about WoT.

Fluffy_Bunny_Pants #12 Posted 05 October 2013 - 05:37 PM

    Sergeant

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View PostFeinel, on 05 October 2013 - 05:11 PM, said:

Fixed.

This thread is the perfect starting point for any friend of mine wanting to know more about WoT.

Should it be moved to the Newcomer's Forum page?
:smile:

MojoCrow #13 Posted 05 October 2013 - 05:43 PM

    Corporal

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Here's a couple:
  • Your perfectly aimed shot will always hit when your target dies before your shell hits and totally miss when still alive. This is especially true for arty.
  • For every good game that you have, you will have five that makes you look like you're a complete & utter clueless noob.


RaylessShodan #14 Posted 05 October 2013 - 06:00 PM

    Staff Sergeant

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    03-07-2012
attention: troll here
this aren't bugs and isn't crap, these are FEATURES
and working as intended
-edited-
:harp:

Edited by Rayio501st, 05 October 2013 - 06:00 PM.


Fetzi_DieLustigeLandmin3 #15 Posted 05 October 2013 - 06:01 PM

    Private

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yeah for the more amazing "SURPRISE" moments :D

hugorune #16 Posted 05 October 2013 - 06:13 PM

    Lance-corporal

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Very funny your best one for me today was
  • your team instead of formulating coordinated battle plans during the countdown act like they are in a dating site, wanting to know where you are from and would you like to be BFF with them.

Every game today has been full of people asking anyone from (insert country here) and then spend 1st 3mins driving badly as they swap tales and usually drive into the middle of a field and go bang or into the rest of the team or dont move off the cap and have a picnic together.

Thanks for your post btw made me laugh after to many battles of pain today.

L0ddy #17 Posted 05 October 2013 - 06:17 PM

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who is serb?

Platypusbill #18 Posted 05 October 2013 - 06:23 PM

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View PostFluffy_Bunny_Pants, on 05 October 2013 - 11:53 AM, said:

  • if you play a scout or a non-turreted TD you will always have confined city battles.

Posted Image

>Bring it on

rockmonkey #19 Posted 05 October 2013 - 07:14 PM

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+1 I hope you get a lot of rep for it  :smile:
Of course we know all of these appear in the WoT instruction manual.
This...' •your team instead of formulating coordinated battle plans during the countdown act like they are in a dating site, wanting to know where you are from and would you like to be BFF with them.'... is my favorite.
T95 on a city map? SerB says you will only ever meet an enemy tream of auto loading mediums :playing:
Please feel free to add
.If you break the 53% over all win ratio Match maker will always put you bottom tank of team and you will out damage all three 'best tanks' on both teams buts still lose  :sceptic:
(edit add if you post a thread like this on Forums the trolls will neg rep you (rep corrected where i could)

Edited by rockmonkey, 05 October 2013 - 07:16 PM.


FedsRevenge #20 Posted 05 October 2013 - 07:39 PM

    Lance-corporal

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View PostFluffy_Bunny_Pants, on 05 October 2013 - 11:53 AM, said:

  • someone asks you to follow them and against your better judgment you do. you immediately find yourself caught in a crossfire or your new "friend" has driven off a cliff.

That's the main reason why I use XVM, to spot people who have no idea what they're doing.Too many times when I was still learning the basics in this game someone would use the follow command on me and the first thing I thought was "this guy must be pro and know what he's doing". That didn't work well any time, so I stopped following random people. Now I use XVM and can easily spot who to follow and who not to.

Today I had a game with a WZ-131 driver that had 16k games and 300WN7 rating. Whatever he does, he must be doing it wrong and I'll happily drive the opposite direction from people like that.




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