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Found On The TEC Clan Site-Minutes Of The Last Unicum Meeting

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BERLIN_19451945 #1 Posted 25 March 2014 - 03:17 AM


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The Dear Leader presided over the March 24th UNICUM stratagy meeting held in Siemka PL Building HQ this afternoon. All Clan Commanders are to ensure the following points are disemminated through the CoC to the peasantry ASAP. You are reminded this material is protectively marked as STRAP-ON, meaning don't post it on the EU forum for the noobs to see.

1) The Dear Leader opened the meeting by summarily executing Clan Leader No4 who had been found guilty of possessing the box set "Educating Joey Essex". As his chair transmitted 10000 volts through his worthless carcass, the Dear Leader reminded all present of UNICUM Corps Ethos and remarked " He's taking the p***".

2) The Dear Leader then distributed home made oatmeal cookies and glasses of milk as thoughtfully donated by the wife of Clan Leader No2. Motion raised to have wife of Clan Leader No2 eliminated by next Monday. Motion passed by commitee. Clan No2 abstained but remarked he felt honour bound to, and "had not loved her for some years"

3) Apologies received by letter from Clan Leader No10, who could not attend the meeting due to attending a One Direction concert in Milton Keynes. Motion raised and passed by committee to have No10 eliminated ASAP.

4) There were only two matters raised by Clan Leaders. These were proposed modification of UNICUM Mess Dress to incorporate a gold Viking horned helmet with tassles (motion passed), and the formal adoption of Chuck Norris ( LOL tractor 100m in length firing Cruiser IV's at the rate of 1000 a second and sheathed in Bounconium) as UNICUM mascot. The God Norris has already indicated his willingness to take on this role, but will need further discussion regarding the proposed naked photo shoot with the Dear Leader and a shaven hedgehog as part of the new recruitment drive.

5) The Dear Leader then closed the meeting by activating the victim initiated IED under Clan Leader No10 car ( "I'll give him One ******* Direction the ******* ****tard") and the bar was opened.

The next UNICUM meeting will take place in April 10th at Clan Leader No 12's house in Western Zoyland. All Clan Leaders are to confirm availability no later than 1200 hrs 02nd April. O/C, there will be performances of Thomas The Tank Engine The Opera by a troupe of Thai Ladyboys (Penetration) and a hot buffet by kind donation of Mrs Miggins Pie Shop. Bring a bottle.

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