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-------My wife is not a bot---------


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DougHole #1 Posted 03 June 2011 - 01:59 PM

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As my wife intends to "have another go at driving the tankers" this weekend, I just wanted to premeditate any possible accusations of leeching or botting on her part, because she does display tendencies on the battlefield which very closely fits descriptions of this behaviour. (To see the exploits of my son, click here)

Posted Image

Her playing has included in the past some or all of the following
  • Moving in a straight line out of spawn while she looks for the left and right keys. Often leads to a collision.
  • Firing into the ground/air while she gets used to the mouse.
  • Aiming at team mate, me doing a facepalm to myself, then her saying "Oh he's a green" before aiming at another friendly "Oh he's green as well"
  • Trying to go round houses but instead going straight through them
  • Trying to go over cliffs and impassable areas, never listening to me telling her she can't go there ("Why can't I?")
  • Stopping in ridiculous places, open spaces, firing at nothing, for reasons I do not understand
  • Firing into hills because a red marker is behind it
  • Just walking away from the computer while the game is underway (me: "Where are you going?" her: "Nothing's happening, I'm getting a biscuit, would you like one?" - another facepalm )
  • All of the above in any combination
Shall I tell you about the terrible maneuvers, the shocking battlefield decisions, her obstinacy and single mindedness to the point of bloodymindedness at every request (including even begging) to drive reasonably, the crazed clicking while the distressed loader tries to keep up with her random and sporadic volleys of anti aircraft fire, the ridiculous swerving and complete lack of ability to avoid both the smallest and largest of obstacles ranging from getting stuck because of constantly trying to cut corners up to failing to avoid flatbeds, railway wagons and sometimes even unable to help herself going head on straight into castles.

The impressive, incredible and ultimately fatal way she manages to find danger at the worst possible moment whilst being perfectly placed to be as exposed and vulnerable as possible, or at other times racing towards the 'baddies' (while compulsively swerving to run over any trucks or lorries en-route), often taking a great swathe of her own team with her as she closes on the preparing enemy, her team mates blindly following her wake like ducklings, mistaking her blind abandon for confidence.

The opposing team can hardly believe their luck as she leads her doomed flock into the inevitable abyss of fire, the final horrible outcome being chaos and self destruction.

And then her piece de resistance, showing her supreme ability to then shrug her shoulders and walk away leaving me and my open mouthed young son to witness the explosions of her team mates as one by one they become burning, smoking husks, her own wrecked tank marking the moment the game was lost and the remaining band of survivors elsewhere on the map shocked and bewildered at the sudden loss of so many allies - but she is already sipping her tea and contemplating the state of the flowers growing in the hanging baskets.

KIATequilaBottle #2 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:01 PM

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lol

lfcfan #3 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:02 PM

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*facepalm*

:D

Avernus #4 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:02 PM

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Enjoy sleeping on the couch if she finds out :P

jarineva2 #5 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:02 PM

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Best of Luck and may to her shots go straight.  :)

Faykin #6 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:04 PM

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:lol:

Zenith #7 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:05 PM

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Women drivers, no survivors.  :P

mediahead #8 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:06 PM

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:)

meuhbat #9 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:06 PM

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Eh maybe she will allow us to see a blue marked TKer for the 1st time :D

KurtSteiner #10 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:06 PM

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- Darling, what's for breakfast?

- Braaaaiiiiins.....

Turvas #11 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:06 PM

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friendly advice: just create another account for her then :) people are a lot more tolerant when cute little loltractors do silly stuff

wizzpete #12 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:07 PM

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:Smile_great:  very good

Reminds me of my GF......... :Smile-hiding:

Shoeshine #13 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:09 PM

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love it  :lol:
good luck to the lass, i assume thats not her in the picture if it is.......i hate you ;)

Arkhell #14 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:10 PM

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let my girlfriend play CSS once... she got pissed of cause she died all the time without knowing what happend and i got a lot of flak for laughing...


(small wonder when you run around a corner, stand still in the middle of the road, turn towards the interlinking road, start running again, next corner repeat previous etc etc.)

Laughter #15 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:17 PM

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This made my day :)

Faykin #16 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:21 PM

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... I do wonder if she knows about this post *grins*

Schurmeyer #17 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:22 PM

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LMAO Doug.  :D

Mike_Hammer #18 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:26 PM

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View PostDougHole, on 03 June 2011 - 01:59 PM, said:

[*]Firing into hills because a red marker is behind it


Your wife must be multiaccounting then, because I see this happening *all* the time  :lol:


Good posting again Doug.

Jamezdin #19 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:30 PM

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Is that really a picture of your wife??  :Smile-hiding:

DougHole #20 Posted 03 June 2011 - 02:34 PM

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View PostJamezdin, on 03 June 2011 - 02:30 PM, said:

Is that really a picture of your wife??  :Smile-hiding:

She is older and rounder.

If she reads that, I'm a dead man/ will be playing WoT as a enuch.

PS Thanks for all comments, good to see folks smiling :)




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