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poop tanks - occuring opposition


poop: "-youre so fockun slow, cant even hit me"
opp: "-yeah, but my ground is my castle"
poop: "-glad to hear, now i see why your pipe doesnt rotate at all"
opp: "-i dont need to rotate my turet cuz enemy always comes at front"
poop: "-better watch your ass, i gonna make a biger hole when you are turned away"
opp: "-hehe, first you must get a sight. bushes will pierce your armor"
poop: "-so dont hide i them like a fockin green Shrek"
opp: "-im green Dragon. remember, DRAGON!"
poop: "-damn youre chicken with crest along your back, staying and doing nothing all the time"
opp: "-keep scouting, i need someone for flesh"
poop: "-still cant catch me. your target is Happy Leichtraktors. they are slow as your skills"
opp: "-better to have targets instead of not"
poop: "-my target is your ass. wakeup already!"
opp: "-Fairy Godmother likes my ass phaah, dont ya?"
poop: "-yep, great to kick"
opp: "-what can you do? youre worthless in the game. drivin a small tank such as 7th dwarve is epic down..."
poop: "-argh... not!"
opp: "...-yes! cuz this game randomizing battles where half of tanks is unscratchable for u"
poop: "!!!- i scratch you with my leg! lol"
opp: "-more way than half. almost all tanks is unbeatable when you are so low"
poop: "-youll see what beating means, i heve big gun"
opp: "-actualy lower tiers doesnt need them haah"
poop: "-damn now im angry!"
opp: "-when you so, go buy Artilery, more damage is guaranteed hehe"
poop:"-buying tanks its a waste of time. your Holy Lowe isnt worth it at all. stupid poser"
opp: "-this tank makes me a brave tanker "
poop: "hope you die by driving thru the red light!"

Here's mine. According to Open Office, that's 4994 symbols , including the title and spaces Enjoy!

"Creation"

Long before the first Maus was built, a hero, Brave Tanker, along with his faithful friend, Angry Wespe and his ever-happy Leichttraktor were on a quest in search of a mythic machine – the Holy Loewe.
And one day, as they stopped at a small petrol station for some high-octane snacks, a green monster, wearing and old vest sat at their table:
- Mornin', gentlemen. I see by the marks on your sides that you are the famous Knights of the Steel Order, always willing to help poor villagers like me...
- Keep talking! Oh please, keep talking! - happily interrupted Leichtraktor.
- I knew you would like to listen to my plea. Well... We need you to slay a dragon, my dear Knights.
- Go on, yarr, I hate dragons! - mumured Wespe.
- The dragon is guarding a big treasure, a huge one even. There is gold, jewels, engines, guns, fuel, ammunition, more gold and even more jewels. Folks around even say that there is some powerful artifact buried under all this. Interested?
- Little have we interest in gold and jewels, but artifacts and supplies might be a great help on our quest – the Brave Tanker said to his friends and they nodded.
- So maybe we could slay the dragon together, using enchanted ammuntion provided by our local Fairy Godmother, and then you take all the tanky stuff and the artifact, while the gold and jewels wil be distributed among the village folk.
- This is a darn good offer, my friends! - roared Wespe.
- Right! Let's go kill that overgrown, filthy lizard, in the name of engines and guns and the Holy Loewe! - the Brave Tanker stood up, put on his goggles and pointed at Shrek – Lead the way, my dear... what is your name, please?
- It's Shrek, sir. Just Shrek.
- Very nice. So, lead the way, my dear Shrek, for I shall show that dragon what it means to stand against the Steel Order! FORWARD!

And so they finished their their diesel drinks and moved out. They travelled for seven days and seven nights, through hills, valleys, rivers and woods, listening to Leichttraktors jolly chanting, jokes and popculture references.

And on the morning of the eighth day they reached a giant plain. And on the middle of it a dragon slept on a mountain of treasures.
- This is so exciting! - Leichttraktor clapped his tracks to show how excited he was.
- Yarr, I want to pack some High Explosives into that beast's belly! - Wespe was getting red from anger – I hate dragons!
- Stay calm, my friends. We need some rest and a plan. Let's start preparations and we will attack tomorrow at dawn, when it will still be asleep.
- Good idea, sir. And anyway, we have to wait for the enchanted ammunition. We hired an elite team, the Seven Dwarves, to carry it here, they should arrive soon. Also, they will deliver supplies to you during the battle and help us gather the treasures later.
- Very well. Let's make camp in the forest.

The Fairy Godmother and the Dwarves arrived in the afternoon. Apparently not tired at all, they started digging foxholes around the plain and store ammunition in them. Thanks to this, our heroes would be able to move around the battlefield and not worry about supplies.

And morning came, finally. Brave Tanker got dressed in his best uniform, Wespe painted some fire-protective symbols on his hull and Leichttraktor... well, obviously, he was happy with what he already looked like.

When the clock showed 04:32 AM, time came to begin. Everyone held their breath in anticipation.
- Are you ready, Wespe? - Brave Tanker asked for final confirmation.
- Ready? I'm always ready to slay dragons, I hate them! YARR!
- Take good aim, my friend. We want to surprise the foul beast.
- I'm a Wespe, I never miss!
- Alright then. Fire!

With fury, anger and hatred Wespe fired his cannon. A High Explosive round left the barrel, the noise woke up all the animals in the forest and so the battle has begun. In the three seconds that the projectile needed to reach the still sleeping dragon everyone prepared mentally for a long, tough and bloody battle.

A bell could be clearly heard over the battlefield.

The dragon was engulfed in flame, as a huge explosion tore its head apart. The clouds formed into letters:

[AngryWespe] destroyed [EvilDragon]

- You hit the ammo rack! Wonderful! Let's sing a song! - shouted Leichttraktor, overjoyed.
- Do dragons have ammo racks? - Shrek looked at the Brave Tanker, puzzled.
- Some fuel or acid tanks maybe? They breathe fire, right? It must come from somewhere.
- Yarr! Take that, you imba monster! - screamed Wespe.

And the battle was over, just like that. Helped by the Seven Dwarves, our heroes gathered the treasure, uncovering a big, flat field. To the northeast of it, they buried the remains of the dragon's body and covered them with a lot of soil, creating a hill. The dragon's blood gathered in a small valley and became a long, thin lake, separating the hill from the field.

The heroes went on to continue their quest for the Holy Loewe.

Today, we call that ancient battlefield... "Malinovka".

Polish version
Dawno dawno temu za siedmioma  górami  leżała kraina czołgów ,  ta  opowieść mówi  o happy leichtraktor  i on w upalnym cieniu marzył sobie o wygraniu turnieju w którym główną nagrodą było  6000 złotych, głównymi sponsorami byli  Brave Tanker i Waegaming. W tej chwili   objawiła mu się dobra wróżka wysoka lecz niskiego wzrostu nic nie mówiąc rzekła , spełnię twe  trzy życzenia jak ty spełnisz  moje trzy zadania :
- Pierwszym zadaniem było  wejść na gruszkę zerwać pietruszkę,
- Drugim zadaniem było ogolić włochatego shereka bez zarostu ,
- trzecim zadaniem było pomóc siedmiu krasnoludkom obudzić królewnę śnieżkę
którą bronił ją  M3 Stuard  o pseudonimie Dragon.
happy leichtraktor  nie wykonał pierwszego zadania ponieważ ubiegł go VK 1602 Leopard i
smutny bohater naszej opowieści podjął się drugiego zadania , następnie  wjechał do siedziby shreka   ale był bez zarostu i nie udało mu się wykonać zadania.
Po nie udanych dwóch próbach wykonania zadań , z niechęcią przeszedł do trzeciego zadania.
Leichtraktor przed dojazdem do królewny śnieżki objawił mu święty Loewe który podarował mu trzy pociski  . nasz bohater bez wachania rozpoczął walke z M3 Stuard,
Za pierwszym strzałem chybił ale jego przeciwnik też chybił, drugi strzał odbił się od pancerza przeciwnika, M3 Stuard  przebił pancerz naszego bohatera zostawiając mu 10 % HP,   ostatnim swoim pociskiem trafił w magazyn amunicji  i M3 Stuard  eksplodował .
Po walce pojechał z siedmioma krasnoludkami po śpiącą królewnę i obudzili ją.
Naszemu bohaterowi udało się spełnić ostatnie zadanie , nagle przed nim objawiła się wróżka - rzekła  „ udało ci się spełnić jedno z trzech zadań dlatego spełnię twe jedno życzenie ”
Leichtraktor  zechciał się przemienić w E-100  i w tej samej chwili przemienił się E-100.
Dwa dni później  w  turnieju jego drużyna doszła do finału …
Nasz bohater pozostał sam z swojej drużyny na IS-7 i  Hummel o pseudonimie  Angry Arty.
Po ciężkim trudzie udało mu się pokonać przeciwników , i  otrzymał główną nagrodę .
Żył długo i szczęśliwie .

"Dragon hunting - in search of perfection"

Once upon a time there was a German tanker called The Brave, for he had great courage when fighting enemy vehicles.
Brave Tanker always wanted to hunt down mysterious, legendary vehicle whom everyone called "The Dragon". Our hero has just earned new vehicle, VK 3601(H), and he was certain that he would fulfill his dream with it.

But there was also the Shrek... a Russian tanker called The Jealous. He also wanted to slay "The Dragon". Long story short - our Brave Tanker and Jealous Shrek have gotten into a fight between the first one's VK 3601 (H) and the second's one IS heavy unit. The result was obvious - our brave hero didn't stand a chance.
But, what he didn't know was that Shrek has hired a Hummel Arty called The Angry, for he was furious every time he missed his shot.
And now Shrek has killed VK 3601(H) all by himself, making Hummel extremely furious. The Angry Arty decided to kill his IS tank as a part of revenge.

But by that time the Brave Tanker had to flee - he jumped into the only vehicle he had left, the Leichttractor, called The Happy, and drove it to his Fairy Godmather, who was driving T95 tank destroyer. It was easy to find her, for she wasn't too mobile in that unit.
"Do not despair, young one!", she tried to cheer him up after hearing what has happened, "You must seek the 7 dwarves on mountain tops of the place called Karelia, they can help you!"

And so he did. He heard of 7 dwarves, and knew where to look for them - in Karelia there was a church to where no ordinary tanks were allowed. But The Brave Tanker was very special and he knew a secret passage to the church, where he drove with his Happy Leichttractor.
When he reached the place, he was greeted by seven tanks: Pzkpfw I, Pzkpfw II, Pzkpfw III, Pzkpfw IV, Pzkpfw V "Panther", Pzkpfw VI "Tiger", and...
"I am Pzkpfw VIB, Konings Tiger", said the last and the largest tank. All together they have formed the society of German Tanks and called themselves the 7 dwarves.

But our hero knew something was wrong - he saw a Konings Tiger only once before, but he was certain that he looked different than this one.
Never the less, the Pzkpfw tanks agreed to find a way to help young Tanker, but on the next day, for the sun has already set and it was their time to go and rest for the night. Of course they invited The Brave Tanker to rest with them, but he couldn't sleep that night. He was thinking about the Shrek, how he defeated his VK 3601(H), and about the promised help from the dwarves.

Suddenly, in the middle of the night, he heard strange noises. He immediately jumped into his Happy Leichttractor and drove out to see what was going on.
And he saw the Shrek in his MS-1 unit.
"What happened to your IS tank?", the Brave one shouted.
"It's none of your business! Prepare to die!", said the Shrek.
And so their battle began. But in this one the odds were even, and even in favor of our hero, because MS-1, called The Sad, couldn't compete with the power of Hapiness beaming from the Leichttractor.

Whilst they have battled, neither of them knew that The Angry Arty was watching. And aiming at both of them.
So when the Brave one finished off the Shrek, a terrible thing happened. Direct impact from artillery such as Hummel would be more than deadly for Leichttractor. But it didn't happen - the shell exploded close to it, destroying every single module in the Happy Leichttactor, making him close to unusable.

The Brave Tanker shouted in despair and cried after his nearly-lost friend. But the impact of the Angry Arty shot has also awoken the dwarves.
They quickly realized what had happened and mourned the Happy Leichttractor with the Brave one. Then, the Konings Tiger approached him.
"Fear not, young one, for I have a solution for your problems." he said, and his voice was different than before. "But at first, I must apologize, for I have lied to you. You see, I am not Pzkpfw VIB, like I said before, but Pzkpfw VII, the..."
"Holy Loewe!", the Brave Tanker shouted with flash of hope in his eyes, for he knew the power of Holy Loewe.
"Yes, that is correct. I now see that your heart is truly pure and brave. For that, I shall help you."
He than aimed his cannon at the broken Happy Leichttractor and shot a ray of vivid light. The Brave one didn't see what was happening in the process, but when it was finished...

His little Happy Leichttractor has changed into a vehicle of great power! It was Pzkpfw VIII "Maus"!
"Alas, my friend!", said the Holy Loewe. "This great, heavy unit is now yours to command. Go and fulfill your dreams."
"That I will, thank you!", the Brave Tanker shouted and step into the Maus.

Our hero than had gone after the Angry Arty, for it has betrayed society of German Tanks and had to be punished. Than he went to hunt down "The Dragon".
But that, my dear readers, is a tale for another time...

From this tale, a moral comes to us all:
Never trust an artillery. Especially the angry ones.


***

I hope you liked it. According to Word it contains 4020 characters (title excluded). Cheers!

Thats it:
(well, i think the grammar and time isnt correct at all   )

The Tale of the Brave Tanks

Once upon a time there was a town where the happy Leichtraktors lived, they lived  their peaceful lives  til one day the they heard a strange noise coming from the hinterland. They were invaded by a clan of Angry Artys! They don’t know what to do, so they go to the Mountains, where the Angry Artys can’t reach them. On the way into the higher reaches of the Mountain the met 7 dwarves, they were mining the Mountain for Wolfram the special ingredient for their super ammunition. The happy Ltraktors helped them, but after a few days they stopped working, because of an immense earthquake. Some Ltraktors were hit by rocks falling from the wall. But then, in the deepest end of the mine was a hole opening they all were banned what would happen to them. Suddenly the earthquake ends, and there was a dead-silence, no one said something they all were banned by the bright light coming out of the hole. It was the fairy Godmother, awaking form her deep sleep. She told the Ltraktors that they have to raise against the Angry Artys, or their beautiful land will die. But the Ltraktors don’t know how they could defeat them, her KwKs were too weak to penetrate the thick armour of the Angry Artys. So a troop of the best trained Ltraktors went to the dark Stacheldraht-Forest, because the only one who could know the answer lived there.


After 2 hours, meanwhile they were deep into the forest, they met Shrek a green and fat ogre who lived in the death marshes. He told the Ltraktraktors that the Master is waiting on a hill 5km South East from their position.  After a horrible and exhausting trip, they saw him. It was the Holy Löwe the Master of the Tanks in the South Eastern Territory in the World of Tanks. He said:,, the only way to defeat the Angry Artys is to release the Dragon, with his deadly breath he will defeat them. With this certain information the troop went back to their secret caves in the Mountain. On their way back, they met the clan of Brave Tanker and told them their story.  The Brave Tanker promised them to fight on their side against the Angry Artys. Now they had a much more powerful army and possibly a chance to beat the Angry Artys, But they still don’t know how they could release the Dragon. Löwe only said that he will appear when they most need him. When they arrived, the 7 dwarves told them, that they have made ammo for the KwKs of the Ltraktors. With their new Wolfram ammo and the Brave Tankers on her side they would possibly had a chance against the Angry Artys, they thought.


On cold autumn day the leaders of the Ltraktors and Brave Tankers decided to go back in the town and fight for their land. As they arrived, they saw what the Angry Artys did. Houses were burned down and the former beautiful gardens and fields of the town are now big  fields of scorched ground. The Ltraktors could not believe what they see and get angry more angry than some Ltraktors ever was. They will pay for this said the leader of the Brave Tankers, they will, the leader of the Ltraktors respond.


The fight began, as the first grenades of the Angry Artys hit the ground near them. “I hope it works” said the leader of the Ltraktors. Their only protection against the big guns of the Angry Artys was camouflage and the morning fog in the autumn. After a few minutes they spotted a lonely Arty. “Their armor is thick on the front and side, We only can hurt them from behind” said  the leader of the Brave Tankers. 5 Brave Tankers shot at the same time in the back of the Arty. Metal pieces flew around and the Arty started burning.
“Now they know where we are,  change your position, move forward on that hill!” said the leader of the Ltraktors. They split up into groups of 5 tanks and moved on the top of the hill. The fog began to lift.


What they couldn’t  know was that the Angry Artys all the time know where they are, they used a new technology called “Radar”. Now in the open terrain on the hill the Ltraktors and the Brave Tankers were easy targets. The massacre began and the 67 Angry Artys shot. The explosion was immense, and a big dust cloud  was over the battlefield.


There were no screams, only fire and dust. Suddenly there was a noise. Distant first, it grow into beast roar so immense it could be hear far away. It was the Dragon! His gigantic wings protected the Ltraktors and Brave Tankers and saved them from death. The Dragon began to crush the enemy tanks. The Artys tried to escape, but the Dragon let now one alive. His claws slice easily thru the Angry Artys like butter. After 15 minutes the massacre had a end. The Dragon disappears in the sky as fast as he appears. The Ltraktors were happy again and celebrate together with the Brave Tankers the biggest Party that ever take place in the world of tanks.

END

REMOVE it

My Contest Entry. It's Called - THE DRAGON SLAYER CHRONICLES: ORIGINS.
===========================

The Dragon slayer Chronicles: Origins

Grandmother: “Kids, have you ever wondered, how the dragon slayers ever appeared? No? Then gather around the campfire and listen closely!”

..Once upon a time, there lived a very sad Leichtraktor. He lived his young days in hopes, that there will come a day, when a Brave tanker would ride him, to meet their destiny - slay the evil dragons together.

Days and weeks passed by, and our little sad Leichtraktor grew up, he even found some new engine for himself, that significantly improved his speed. He found out, that there's going to be a tank expo soon, where lots of new and brave tankers would be. On that day, he was so happy, that he roamed the road with his new engine, when a sudden sound of explosion nearby knocked out his suspension, leaving him trackless, and even damaged the new engine. After the first shock was gone, he saw an ANGRY ARTY driving out of the nearby bushes and yelling at him: "NO SPEEDING AROUND MY FARM, OTHERWISE, I WILL BE FORCED TO CALL UPON SHREK AND HIS 7 DWARVES, AND YOU DON'T WANT THAT, RIGHT?!" After the unfortunate turn of the events, our little sad Leichtraktor mounted his track on and slowly drove home. When he arrived, he was all wet and covered in tears. All this precious time now wasted for nothing, the new engine is damaged beyond repair, tracks almost broken, how will he ever manage to go to the tank expo tonight...  

Sad Leichtraktor dozed off in sleep on the corn fields of Malinovka, when a sudden impact of light hit him. He woke up wondering, what was making the bright light? He looked above his head, and saw a Fairy Godmother, which approached him levitating. She looked upon the Leichtraktor, and said: "Oh, little Leichtraktor, I was sent by Holy Loewe, which was really touched by your sad fate today. She sent me, to help you recover, I even brought some gifts!”. With one swipe of her magic wand, the Leichtraktor obtained a brand new Suspension, engine, much more powerful than the one he had, new turret, and even a new gun. He could not believe his sight hatches, when he tried his first lap around the corn field. Fairy Godmother then said: "Oh my, I’ve forgotten the most important accessory - radio!" She mounted the radio on, which started to give out weird noises. Leichtraktor froze in the middle of the field, listening to the noises. He gasped: "OH no, it’s the tank expo, it’s about to get started, I really, really need to go now," he thanked the Fairy Godmother, and flashed off to the expo.

He drove his new engine to the limit, passed the Angry Arty's farm, even passed Shrek and his 7 dwarves. When he arrived at the expo, he realized that it was too late, the expo was already over. He drove through the piles of empty oil and petroleum cans, dozed off tanks and their tankers. „I missed it, I might have missed my only chance in life” , he said, while driving over an empty canister of engine oil, which is very hallucinating, by the way. Suddenly, he heard 8 pairs of footsteps nearby and cornering him. It was Shrek, and his 7 dwarves. Shrek approached and said: „What are you doing here, the party’s over, You wanted to rob them? You better tell the truth, or me and my boys are going to turn you in to spare parts!”. Leichtraktor answered: „I wanted to find a brave tanker, so we both can meet our destiny, and slay the dragon together!”. Shrek seemed to be untouched by his explanation when he suddenly said: „ I think, we can help you - here we found this guy wandering around these parts as well; he claims to be looking for a brand new tank. He even tried to escape us!”. One of the seven dwarves approached Shrek and said: „ Shrek, I think, we can help them both. The dragon was causing enough problems for us too in the Arctic regions, I say, let them come to „Shrek& 7Dwarves Customs and Garage”, for some Premium equipment. By Holy Loewe, I swear, we will turn you in to an elite tank and teach your Brave tanker how to fix you in case if anything happens”. „You would do this for us?”, brave tanker and Leichtraktor asked. Shrek replied: „Ya, don’t mention it, „Shrek&7 Dwarves” are known very well around these parts for our elite and Premium equipment, I don’t know, however, why are we being feared of”, he laughed.
After spending days in trainings, and installing upgrades, our brave tanker and Leichtraktor became so relied upon each other that they knew – they were meant for each other, and meant to change the world for the better – as a team. Because of the great authority in the village, Shrek called upon the locals, to meet the new heroes. This was the happiest day of the Leichtraktor. From this day forward, he was known as the Happy Leichtraktor. After the feast for the heroes, they both drove to pray in chapel of Holy Loewe for blessing. When that was done, they dispatched to their crusade. It is then, when they learned the trust in each other, when facing a dragon. But that is another story for another time..

----

The Contest entry text contains:

903 words, 4065 characters without spaces, 4967 characters with spaces.
Hope you like it!

Balance

"Father? Why does the sky burn?" The small boy stared out his bedroom window, at the leaps of flame and smoke.

"The Dragon is angry, Little Eric," answered his father. "He will not calm until Balance is brought to the Tanks."

"Where are the Tanks, Father? And why must they be Balanced?"

"Nobody knows, son."

Kneeling on the floor, they prayed to the Holy Loewe, begging for mercy. When Little Eric fell asleep, his dreams were full of flames.

*

Asduhf Gueh had been drinking in his favorite tavern when a dwarf was thrown into his table and knocked him to the ground. The dwarf jumped up and ran to Gueh's side.

"I'm terribly sorry! That was too rude of me! My friends and I get a bit too rowdy sometimes." The dwarf gestured to four dwarves at a table, laughing uproariously. Two others were in the air, flying towards another unfortunate drinker. Gueh rubbed his head and winced.

"Let me tell you a secret to take your mind off your head!"

An hour later, Asduhf Gueh was walking out the front gates of his village, on a journey to save the world!

*

Some hours later, Gueh met a huge green creature traveling in the same direction. It introduced itself as Shrek, and listened carefully to Gueh's tale.

"You know where the Dragon is? And the Tanks are with him!?" Shrek was amazed.

"Yes," said Gueh. "If I can find a way to Balance the Tanks, I can save this world from fire."

"The fire already burned my swamp all away. I'm searching for a new one, now." Shrek hung his head in sadness as he remembered his swamp home with fondness.

Gueh patted him on the back and continued on his way, exchanging stories with the green ogre.

*

Hours later, the pair met an artillery piece sleeping on the side of the road.

"What are you doing sleeping here!?" Shrek bellowed at it until it jumped up blearily. "Don't you know all the Tanks are supposed to be with the Dragon?"

"Do I look like a tank to you, you racist, overgrown ogre!? I am a SELF PROPELLED GUN! I'll teach you to call me names!" The angry artillery began loading a round.

"Look out, Gueh!" Shrek leaped in front of the barrel, shielding Gueh with his body.

With a shriek of rage, the artillery piece fired. Asduhf Gueh was knocked to his feet and dizzied by the explosion. When his vision cleared, he saw his good friend lying lifeless next to the artillery, who had also been killed by the blast.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Gueh continued on down the road, vowing to never forget the valiant ogre who had saved his life.

*

Days later, Asduhf Gueh finally reached the end of his quest. A great mountain loomed above him, spraying fire into the air.

Unable to find a way outside, Gueh sat down and cried until his Fairy Godmother appeared, gave him a good kick in the pants for being such a baby, and showed him the way inside.

Gueh stepped into burning hot air. Something snorted just beside him, and he turned to face the most enormous reptile he had ever seen. Frozen with shock, Gueh stared at the Dragon's huge teeth and waited to die.

Instead of eating him, however, the Dragon looked at him pleadingly and shouted "You must help me, little person-thing! The Tanks are Unbalanced!" Flames shot out of his mouth and nostrils.

Gueh looked around him. On the other side of the cavern, there was a huge piles of food, chocolate, and cola cases: the Dragon's treasure hoard! Between the Dragon and the hoard, however, was a gigantic crevice in the rock, plummeting down to the center of the earth. The only way across the crevice was three platforms.

Gueh saw the problem immediately. The platforms were covered in tanks! Each platform was inhabited by a Tank Nation, and the platforms were on different levels. Unless all the Tank Nations were the same weight, the platforms would not be level and the dragon could not reach his treasure!

There was one tank missing, though. Sitting by the Dragon's side was a tiny Leichtraktor. "Shouldn't he be on the platform?" Gueh asked the Dragon.

"Oh, Leichtraktor's not concerned with balance. He's happy no matter where he is," said the Dragon with a wave of his claw. The Leichtraktor smiled.

Asduhf Gueh approached the Tanks. It was lucky that he had learned Tank Language from a passing Friardinand long ago. He explained the problem to the Tanks.

"That one didn't go through!" shouted a T1 Heavy, which translated to "What can we do about it?"

"Bail out! This vehicle is done for!" replied Gueh, which meant "Someone must make a sacrifice."

There was much muttering among the Tanks, and many complaints of "We lost the engine!" and "That was close!"

Finally the old, grizzled T-28 approached the edge of his platform. "Let's... move out," he decreed solemnly, and accelerated over the edge, falling into the bowels of the earth and disappearing forever.

With the weight of the Bravest Tank gone, the Russian platform moved up to the same level as the others. The Dragon could reach his treasure again! The angry flames died down, and there was a long silence.

*

Little Eric never had nightmares again.

Accidental post sorry  

Dragons Roar

There is no peace, winought war, they say ...
Our elders regard peace only as a time of preparations before a war. Peace is not eternal ... peace must be maintained by
the strength of arms.
Elders speak of the great battle that took place not long ago on these fields.
Our small nation held no claims to other people's land, but that has not made us a lesser target. So we found ourselves one day
invaded by our ruthless neighbor,driven by no other motives other than his greed ...The Dragon. That's the nick-name he got for
the trail of destruction he left wherever he passed, scorched earth and burning villages.
Now The Dragon has set his lustful eyes on our small little province, he was leading the attack in his roaring KV-5, on
his side his trusted generals the 7 Dwarves, eagerly waiting in their T-54's to bring chaos in our land.
Only fear was left into our hearts, our hope for victory was little. Our tanks could never match theirs, we relied only on
the superiority of our generals and commanders. Our leader tried to comfort us that our research head "Fairy Godmother" was working on something that could turn the tide, but we thought of it nothing less than a last attempt to keep our moral from sinking lower.
        Finally, the day of battle ...
The Dragon swept trough villages, fields and forests, burning and breaking all apart, rushing towards our positions. The Brave Tanker in his Panther II rushed to flank them on the left, while the Happy Leichtraktor speeded on the right in a hope to get behind their lines and wreak some chaos while at the same time provide scouting for the Angry Arty, a sturdy Hummel sitting patiently in our forests, waiting for a kill. Shrek was holding defensive positions in his deadly PzKpfw VI Tiger.
Brave Tanker's Panther got hit in his tracks, unable to move, was quickly surrounded by 3 dwarves ...
        The Happy Leichtraktor managed to slow down a dwarf's T-54 enough for the Angry Arty to strike him. We got one of the dwarves but we lost the Happy Leichtraktor too. The Brave Tanker took out another dwarf but we where still only two left against their five dwarves and the mighty Dragon. Just when we thought all was lost our leader finally came with three Holy Lowe's, the secret project the Fairy Godmother was working at.The dwarves where obliterated in minutes, Loewe's where leading the counter-attack, the Angry Arty was shelling them from cover while Shrek in his Tiger was herrasing the left flank. Dragon's punch ripped straight trough a Lowe's turret, but we still had two more, finally we cornered him, the mighty Dragon ...
        He was cornered ... and dealt with

Path of the Name

Once upon a time, in a land of far away, full of myths and legends, the greatest story existed, story of the brave tanker.
An idol for every tank known, he was the greatest, but not great enough, thought two young friends: Happy Leichtraktor and
Angry Arty. They imagined what glory and respect they would get if make their own names even greater. So without much thinking
they went to do that. Wroom wroom wroom two friends rolled to their quest when from nowhere there was a boom, an evil tank,
a robber - The Shrek, saw them and decided to rob 'em.
Shrek- Give me all your fuel, now! or I'm gonna punch ya. "Aha, right" thought Angry Arty, and loaded shell to his big 'o'
cannon. Click, boom, goodbye you ugly broom - said Happy one. Two friends rolled and rolled looking for adventures.
Happy one- Aha!, we should scatter the clan of 7 Dwarves, they are mortal enemies of us, must be dealt with. Said with cold
look and weird smile Happy one.
Angry one- Yeah...!. And so they went to deal with 7 Dwarves clan, but they ware interrupted by the Holy Loewe. Most feared
tank of his time.
Holy one- You shall not pass!
Happy one- what?
Holy one- YOU shall NOT pass! (with loud voice)
Angry one- Yeah, we heard, why not?
Holy one- You are evil!
Angry one- No we are not! and loaded his shell to big 'o' cannon. Holy Loewe looked at Angry Arty for some time and said:
Holy one- ...you... shall pass! (said with huge smile), I,m to old for this Hero stuff (rumbled with lowered cannon). And our two
young heroes once more rolled on their path to glory, for next objective - the clan of 7 Dwarves.
Wroom wroom wroom, we rolling to our doom, signet two friends, laughing. And soon they reached the land of 7 Dwarves clan.
Happy one- Cool, we are here, so now we shall prepare!
Angry one- Huh?
Happy one- Load up, charge up and let's get pumped up!
Angry one- Chaaaarge!!!
Happy one- Whaaaaagh. And two our young heroes drove to their destiny. The clan of 7 Dwarves were like "What the!, O.M.G.,
we are under attack!", but soon they were scattered in all directions. It seemed like their name will be greater then of that
legendary brave tanker. While two young heroes were repairing them selfs after battle out of nowhere little beautiful fairy
showed up.
Happy one- Aaa, girl, don't scare me!
Fairy- What? You scared of me? Really? and started to laughing little fairy...
Happy one- Not cool girl, not cool...
Angry one- So, who are you, what do you do?
Fairy- I'm Fairy Godmother, and I,m here to warn you two, a great ancient dragon has his eye on you.
Angry one- Cool, he will make our names even greater!
Happy one- Yeah!
Fairy- Mhm, just so you know, the dragon is like, huge, and like, strong 'n stuff, and he wants to devour you two, ta ta.
And little beautiful fairy flew away. It seemed that Fairy's words bit worried our two heroes, but they mustered their strength
and prepared or the dragon's arrival.
Happy one- Man, you know, this battle surely will get us known.
Angry one- Yeah, but it seems kinda dangerous and life threatening...
Happy one- Indeed, but we are Tanks, the strongest most armored and meanest machines in our land, no dragon has a chance to
fight against us, no shells or fuel, no glory... my angry friend, and we have both!!!
Angry one- Yeah!. Next day come up, the sun was behind clouds, rain was raining out of the sky, and two brave heroes awaited
dragon's arrival... and waited... and waited... until the sun started to fall down, and evening was approaching, when on the land,
in a split second some huge shadow appeared.
Happy one- You seen that?
Angry one- Man, we are under attack!
Happy one- Yay, load up, charge up, and let's get pumped up!
Angry one- U huh, u huh, u huh.
Happy one- Ready.
Angry one- Chaaarge!
Happy one- Aa? Where? The dragon is like in the air, and we can't fly...
Angry one- Oh yeah, Fiiire!!! and the legendary battle of new becoming legends become, they fought days and nights, but one mistake
by Angry one, and dragon ripped out Arty's big 'o' cannon...
Happy one- Arty... noooo. The sad Lichtraktor with great grief mustered his last power, loaded last sells and charged to intercept
dragon, he fired like he fired never before, he maneuvered like he maneuvered never before and in mindless rampage against the dragon,
mad Lichtraktor clipped dragon's wings, and just like that, battle was over.
Happy one- Man, o man, without your cannon you not such a man... with sadness said happy one.
Angry one- We are alive, my best friend, and you know, i think it's enough, this was just to close, i want no more...
Happy one- Nor do i... and our two Heroes rolled back to their homes, with their names and glorious adventures whispered by the wind...
Two friends didn't overcome that legendary name of "the brave tanker" but come very close to it indeed... and this is how this story ends...
in happiness... bye bye.

Dammit just spent the morning writing a astory n then realised its charachters not words, grrrrr

The tale of the Seven Brothers
My tale begins in a distant land under stars unknown to you and I. There once lived seven dwarf brothers, one dark winter people of the land did fear the coming of night, for a dragon was abroad and hunting.
This night, the youngest brothers tank, his Happy Leichtraktor, would not start and so he went to see Shrek, the master tank engineer of the mighty Bunker Fortress, while he was away a terrible fate befell his kin. The Dragon  came with a host of terrifying beasts, the brave brothers fought to the bitter end to defend their home. A titanic struggle ensued and the land was cratered and pitted with shell holes and the husks of the dead tanks but finally the last brother fell pierced by the fangs of the dragon, his tank no protection from the HEAT of the dragons breath.
2 days the brother travelled until with his Happy Leichtraktor he arrived at the forge of Shrek, The master engineer repaired the youngest brothers tank easily. While he waited news arrived of the terrible fate of his brothers, he returned to Shrek with the intention to go alone to kill the dragon. ”stop young dwarf your Happy Leichtraktor is a great tank but no match for a dragon, There is another way” said Shrek “seek out the fairy godmother in the valley of mist she may be able to help you”.
Eventually the brave tanker reached an old cottage and found the fairy godmother “I know of you young tanker I know why you are here, You must travel down to the end of the valley and into the cave beyond, be mindful there is a danger there that will likely take you and your tank”. And so he headed off down the valley in his tank and entered the darkness.
After many hours he came to a bridge of stone he drove his tank slowly onto the bridge it held, so he began to slowly cross it, almost halfway across red eyes flicked into being along with the growl of a predator. It was a Hetzer, snout facing the brave tanker and its snout spoke with a terrifying roar, but the Hetzer  was old and had missed, striking the bridge instead, the brave tanker rushed forwards as the bridge crumbled around him, he fired again and again shaking the Hetzer until he  stung its tracks and with a final spurt reached the far side of the chasm as the bridge fell behind him. The Hetzer had not been stung in many years and was furious as it swung about and roared again striking the Leichtkaktor, the brave tanker was flung around inside his tank and came to rest blood pooling at his feet and ringing in his ears, the brave tankers Leichtraktor would not start, again and again he pumped the starter to no avail, all is lost he thought and mashed his hand against the starter in anger. whooomff the engine roared into life once more and he jerked forward as the Hetzer fired, smashing a glancing blow into his turret, stunned, the brave tanker threw his tank hard into the side of the Hetzer pushing it closer to the edge of the chasm. Die fell beast of the depths he said and fired again and again into the side of the Hetzer with one final blow the Hetzer screeched and wailed as it tipped smoking over the edge of the chasm. The brave tanker slumped down and darkness closed around him.
Many hours later he awoke in utter darkness his tank had died. The tanker was deeply saddened by this but he gathered his belongings and said his farewells to his beautiful brave tank and set off deeper into the darkness. Finally after what seemed like hours he came to a massive set of doors huge rivets the size of his fist adorned the doors and grease drooled down them and from the walls. Inside he stared in wonder at shining beast before him as the Fairy Godmother appeared, “It is your destiny brave tanker, this moment has been foretold, that when the night is at its darkest a young dwarf will arise and with his shining armour shall smite the darkness”. The brave tanker entered the Holy Loewe. As he hit the starter a mighty roar engulfed the cavern and the doors swung wide. The hunt was on.
Many days did the tanker travel, One night he spied lights in the distant sky and in the morning he saw in front of him a site to make his heart sink. It was the Mighty Bunker Fortress and it was cracked open to the sky, the husks of tanks lay strewn about the battlefield. As he came closer he saw his friend the Engineer Shrek, he was wounded badly, his tank a smoking ruin. So the brave tanker helped Shrek to his workshop and was told of the battle and the Dragon's destination, “It hunts the Kings daughter, they travel to the safety of the Fortress of Solitude, upon the mountain of Kursk”.  “I have something that may be of help to you look in the back there under the tarpaulins” the brave tanker did as he was bid and found shells of a type he had never seen “what are they” he said, “Sabot’s” said the engineer.
As the dark turned to light the Holy Loewe crested the slope behind the horde. The massive dragon sent wave after wave of beasts towards the Holy Loewe, but the brave tanker had another idea. He went straight for the Angry Arty that were assaulting the mountain Fortress, and tore through them like a hit knife through butter. But the horde was numberless and pressed in around the Mighty Loewe. “Sally forth men of the Fortress, now is our chance for victory!” The brave tanker was free of the trap now and as the horde turned to face the new attack the Holy Loewe ventured forth to face the Dragon.
The brave tanker drove headlong into the battle, firing every shot with accuracy but none penetrated the Dragons dark hide, and the Dragon lashed out smashing into the Holy Loewe, it’s tracks were smashed and the brave tanker was dealt a critical blow, he loaded a sabot round, as the Dragon came closer for a final death blow he fired straight into the heart of the Dragon, the round split the Dragon’s dark hide and it fell with a  terrible anguished roar.
The Brave Tanker had won and was swept into the Mountain as the hordes fell back in fear, never to return. The Princess flung her arms around the tanker and bent double to plant a big wet kiss on the brave tankers bearded face, “Thank you my brave tanker” she said.
The end.

4,998 characters, god that a was a pain had to chop the story to bits to fit it in lol, next time I'll read the rules more carefully, Will post the full story in another post if anyone wants to read it lol.

Tank heroes: Tales of valour

A party of five tanks is sent into enemy territory, it's mission: to destroy holy Loewe, leader of the Invaders. Brave Tanker and angry Arty lead the party, Happy leichtetraktor covering the rear, Shrek and Dragon at the sides. They had moved deep behind enemy lines over the past week, but theur first challenge was only starting.

Fairy godmother was heading for TankHold that night, her convoy was light, the only challenge would be the M26 pershings covering her Maus. Tanker and Arty where to stop the convoy, having the heaviest armor on their Tiger and JagdTiger. Shrek and Dragon in their T-34s would then flank them and suppress them, and Happy LeichtTractor would hunt down the survivors.
The battle began, Tanker and Arty broke run straight through a house and had their first shots, an 88mm round shattering the tracks of the Maus, ensuring that godmother would not escape.the rounds of the pershings bounced off the supperior armor of the attackers. they seemed unstoppable, until when the T-34s run past the pershings ad shermans but one was hit at the tracks by a 75mm shot from an M3 halftruck. The halftruck shot a second sot, hitting the ammo on the damaged T-34 and blowing it's turret in to the air. Dragon and his crew were KIA. just then the shot from the second T-34 avenged it's companion's death, while receiving a shel from a sherman that bounced off it's turret. Meanwhile, the pershings were taking only minor damage from the Tiger, while the Maus was exchanging fore with the JagdTiger. Tanker decided it was time to use his special "killer" shells, only five given to him, and another five to the Jagd. He shot the shell into the pershing, it runned straight to the engine, detonating fuel and ammo in it's way, blasting the pershing's rear wide open. The T-34 whot into one of the two Sherman's rear armor, setting the engine on fire and forcing the crew out. The Tiger rushed past the Maus, going straight to the rear of the seccond pershing, which was turning on spot, but not fast enough. The 88mm round hit the engine, but the turret was still operational and shot to the Tiger's turret, blasting the smoke grenade launchers from it's side, but otherwise leaving it intact. The seccond shell jammed the pershing's turret, while the Tiger rushed out of it's line of fire. In the meantime the T-34 had cleared out the seccond sherman and started batterring the pershing from behind, until the fuel bursted into flames, killing the crew. The leichtractor had allready cut down the first sherman's crew. the Tiger loaded another killer shot and moved to the rear of the Maus, destrying fairy godmother.
After the battle, they repaired Shrek's track and left sortly after a short ceremony to honor Dragon.

A week later the company was near TankStag, the base of Holly Loewe. They were sure about their mission, they had destroyed everything in their path, with only a single loss. They were now storming through the forest, when somthing started shivering in the bushes. They slowed down. The shivering stopped. Concerned, they started looking arround. Hapy leichtractor blew appart, shreds of metal flying everywhere, while a barage of shots started bouncing off the other tanks. It was the seven dwarfs, an elite anti tank squad, equipped with cannons, bazookas, anti-tank rifles and panzerfausts. The tanks quickly loaded HE rounds and started firing into the woods, while the Tiger used it's S-mine launchers. the AT shells where bouncing off the Tanker and Arty, but Shrek's turret was jammed by an panzerfaust shot. soon the forest around them was in flames, and the seven dwarfs had failed to destroy the elite crews. yet, they had warned the rest of the Invaders, so the final attack had to wait a few days.

The crews had finnished repairs and were ready to storm the Tankstag. By the cover of darkness they started. they were running at full speed towards the military base, it was a while until the Invaders realized what was comming to them, and when they did they were in for a surprise. The T-34 shot a barracks building, the Tiger at the tank shelters, collapsing them and burying tanks benieth them, while the JagdTiger went straight for the Fortified positions where the Holly Loewe was sleeping, it's two king Tiger protectors at it's side already shooting angry Arty. Shrek was rushing between the building's with his T-34, wuickly wiping out any gun eplacements that had the misfortune of being in it's path. Tanker's powerfull Maybach engine roared as it was smashing through the stone walls. A signal came in from Shrek, stating that a Pershing had made it and was at the opposite side of the building to his left, facing the other way, quickly the Tiger turned it's turret and shot, just as the pershing shot Shrek. Shrek's turret was blown off by the explosion at the ammo rack, while fire shot out from the pershing as it was hit by an 88mm shot that had travelled through the building behind it. Arty was immobilized, but had taken out the two Tigers. Holly Loewe was now bombarding him, and his armor seemed impernetrable. Arty had to get Loewe at the side, but how? He signalled Tanker, he had to get the killer shell into the Loewe's side. Tanker saw no flaw in the plan, the entire base was in ruins, except loewe's hill, so he stormed it. Holly loewe started turning when he got an 88mm shell in the side, but not fast enough. Tanker started moving on to Holy Loewe's rear, when they received a decrypted signal for 220mm artillery. They had to finish fast. The Loewe had turned 180 degrees, and the JagdTiger gave it hell. The mission was completed, but they had to get out of there.
Arty told Tanker to leave, it was pointless to try to tow them, but Tanker did that anyway. A soft sound of heavy artillery came from the distance. Tanker's crew paused. they stood attention, and Arty's crew joined them. They saw fire all around them and suddenly all turned black.
END

I am not totaly sure, but I estimate it to be at about 4500-5000 characters....

This is my story. Hope you enjoy it. (3904 characters including .spaces)
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The Lonely Dragon Who Found W.O.T.

A long, long time ago, deep beneath the earth there lived the mightiest dragon of all. He lived alone in his cave; he hoped that someday he’d be saved from the loneliness that had built up in his heart. Each night he had the same dream of a world full of tanks and a planet owned by dwarves. This is how his dream went each night:

     There were many a tank on Maus island competing for the star prize of 10,000 gold to use however they wished. All they had to do was make a team of 5 tanks and try to beat ‘The Muscles of The World!’ A team of 3 involving the 2 meanest, nastiest and most evil maus’ ever and an Object 261 known as the ‘angry arty’ The top SPG from Russia protects the Maus’ from the back line. Only one team has ever defeated the team and they used 5 maus’ against them and now that is against the rules.
      The latest team to attempt this mean feat are a team of one, T1 Cunningham, 2 Ms-1’s, a happy Leichtraktor and an T-18 one of the Usa’s new tank destroyers.
The battle went like this – The 2 teams were lined up at their bases ready for battle. The 2 teams were battling at Himmesdorf a town for easy cover from SPG’s but  has never stopped the angry arty from eliminating its opponents. 3, 2, 1.
“Let’s go boys” Screamed the T-18, charging forward towards a house for cover. The 2 Ms-1’s charged forwards to the castle up on the hill, but were stopped in there tracked from bullets penetrating their front armour they were left with no HP. The T1 decided to stay back to defend the base were as the Happy Leichtraktor didn’t do anything what so ever! The T-18 made steady progress towards the opposition’s base, but suddenly he was surrounded by 2 Maus’ he had nowhere to go! Now only 2 tanks remained on the challenger’s team. The T1 run out of ammo trying to defeat the 2 heavy tanks approaching on him. All of a sudden the happy Leichtraktor made a dash for the opposing base and was going at an incredible speed. The maus’ and the angry arty couldn’t keep up. He got to the base and drove round and in circles in their base, the percentage was going up and up. The rival tanks were driving back to their own base. 95%, 96%, 97%, 98%, 99%. BOOM!  The happy Leochtraktor’s tracks were blown to bits, which put the percentage down to 90%. Could the light tank survive for 10 more seconds...?

     Meanwhile, on the planet owned by dwarves, the 7 dwarves of royalty were having a royal feast when all of a sudden Shrek burst in and shouted,
“I need Holy Loewe’s help the Fairy godmother is sick!”
“No can do,” Dwarf 1 said.
“He died last week,” Dwarf 2 said.
“Tank fire,” Dwarf 3 said.
“We think,” Dwarf 4 said.
“A stray shot,” Dwarf 5 said.
“From an artillery unit,” Dwarf 6 said.
“An angry one at that,” Dwarf 7 said completing the mix.

       The team of 5 stood up on the podium and collected their reward after being fully repaired. The team had won! The happy Leichtraktor had managed to survive for the final 10 seconds although he was left with 1 hp. After their defeat the Angry Arty shot as high in the air as he could and accidently hit a dwarf called Holy Loewe and had to pay the 7 Dwarves 10,000 gold for the funeral. The especially Happy Leichtraktor was awarded the prize of Brave Tanker and was known as that ever since. All the tanks got 10,000 each and the Brave Tanker got an extra 5,000 that he happily split between his teammates. The competition wasn’t open for a while as the Angry arty had anger management sessions and is now known as the serene SPG.
The lonely Dragon dreamt of this every night, but still he was no closer to finding someone for him to spend some time with, when suddenly an advert popped up on his computer and it was advertising World of Tanks he downloaded it instantly and was addicted to it for months and he soon forgot about how lonely his heart was.
The moral of this story being PLAY WORLD OF TANKS!  

Battles of tank-land

“Fairy Godmother, my name is ‘Hunter’ and in my lifetime i have destroyed many evil tanks. I had just a panzer III when I started my great journey through tank-land, I had heard of the many great tanks that had once lived here before the evil  Shrek and his minions: the angry arty and seven dwarves came and slew them all, so i hoped to bring this land back to its former glory.

My first day in tank-land was on October 5th 1939 and I was driving along a road next to a big town when i heard music coming from the centre of it. I stopped and listened to the repetitive tune when i noticed a high pitched voice singing along with the music... the voice of a dwarf. I cautiously advanced into the town and within a minute i saw the seven dwarves dancing around a newly produced Panther tank. I stormed into their camp and shot one of the dwarves as he was scrambling to get into one of the seven ms-1’s around the outskirts of the camp. The ms-1’s instantly opened fire with their guns but soon they had all been destroyed. I exited my tank to assess the damage and was shocked by what i saw. My turret was cracked in several places and one of my tracks was destroyed. I was stumped as to what to do when i remembered the Panther tank. I jumped inside and off i went.

5 months later i came across the next member of Shrek’s gang, angry arty. He was stuck in a bush, half rusted away so i sneaked up behind him and before he could turn his big lumbering SPG around i had my gun pointing directly at his rear. I warned him that if he moved i would blow him to kingdom come, i then questioned him as to the whereabouts of Shrek. I got my answer then destroyed his gun so he would no longer be a problem to anyone.

I was soon back on my way and within the week i was near Shrek’s swamp, but i was underpowered and had no chance of going up against him in his Holy Loewe. I pondered over what to do next when a little happy Leichtraktor rolled up next to me and said he would help me, i looked at him and wondered why this brave little tank wanted to help me fight shrek. After a while i asked him and i soon found out that it was because Shrek had killed his parents. I told him to trick shrek into exposing his rear to me. The true Brave Tanker rolled out in front of the loewe and made him traverse until his rear was exposed, I took out his tracks and then fired away at his weak rear. He was soon destroyed but one of Shreks shells critically hit the happy leichtraktor and he is nearly dead fairy godmother, please can you save him? He is a true brave tanker.”
“Your wish shall be granted, but only if you can defeat my dragon” The fairy godmother chuckled
“What! No-one said anything about a dragon! But i suppose if it will save the happy leichtraktor, i will fight this dragon.” Hunter said defiantly
Seconds ticked by and no dragon appeared and soon those seconds turned into minutes.
“You have passed the test Hunter” the fairy godmother said while smiling.
“A test for what, fairy godmother?”
“A test of your courage, now look behind you and you will find the happy leichtraktor fully repaired”
And with those final words she was gone and the Happy Leichtraktor was repaired, until their deaths Hunter and the happy leichtraktor was the best of friends.

3,289 characters(symbols)
Hope you enjoyed it!

Shrek versus 7 dwarfs

One night Shrek woke up to horrible noise.
- Omg, are the 7 dwarfs having a party again??!!!?!??!?, Shrek mumbled while he held his pillow armoring his earholes. That was 4th time it happened that week. He was allowed to be pissed. It was THURSDAY.
Shrek was on a breaking point. Dwarfs had moved to the swamp about a month ago after S-W’s  Evil stepmothers witched Dragon had burned their house. You would think that dwarfs would have been sad because nobody had seen S-W since the accident. They were enjoying their freedom and their house was like a big wrathouse. Let’s just say that stories about hardworking 7 dwarfs where not quit true. They just worked hard because S-W told them to since she wanted to have privacy. I mean who wouldn’t want to please the most beautiful woman on the earth?


Sun was rising and Shrek hadn’t slept after the horrible noises had waked him. He was up and rage just grew inside him.
-This has to end NOW!! Shrek shouted. His eyes turned red, white foam started to leak out of his mouth. He looked like he had rabies. He went to his drawer and took helmet that his father had given to him, looked it and slowly put it on his head. In that moment he turned into focused, kill hungry beast that did everything possible and impossible to win his battles. The helmet had sucked some poor guys soul in the battlefields long long time ago and the spirit possessed it’s wearer. Whoever put the helmet on turned into Brave Tanker. He’s someone who you really don’t want to piss off.
Brave Tanker knew things that Shrek didn’t. He went outside, took a shovel and started digging turd. Moments after he found what he was looking for. Rusty garage door he had sealed after his last battle. He opened doors and stepped in and walked through the garage. All memories game back to him. Sadly they were all bad. He remembered how he had led his men to die as a platoon leader. Enemy shots had penetrated their tanks armor. He and his platoon had died but their spirits had  absorb to things near them. Angry arty, Holy Loeve and even the Happy Leichtraktor were waiting to have their revenge. This time they wouldn’t fail.

7 dwarfs were playing music so loud that they couldn’t hear tanks rolling in. First was the Happy Leichtraktor. He rolled with a big smile on his face. It was so good to be outside again. He was happy that he finally would get to fight again.  Happy Leichtraktor went closer and closer and suddenly 7 tiny heads turned to stare at him. Dwarfs started to laugh and one of them pointed at Happy Leichtraktors little gun.

-You got so tiny gun! Dwarfs made fun of him and they just couldn’t stop laughing. Brave Tanker was using binoculars and saw whole thing. Happy Leichtraktor was in radio distance and others could hear how he was made fun of. Before Brave tanker said anything Angry arty started shooting at dwafs but he accidently hit leichtractor.  Lechtractor died instantly.

All gathered around Leictractor. Suddenly female voice asked what they were doing. It was S-W returning from a WOT tournament where she had left moments before dragon set their house on fire. Dwarfs and Brave tanker told what was going on and  S-W promised to fix everything. She called to her friend Fairy Godmother who was able to set the spirits free and it was like whole thing had never happened.

S-W had won 9 new computers and she decided to register a  WOT clan. She recruited all dwarfs and Shrek and they haven’t fought ever since …only digitally.

-THE END-

Scouting for shells
One fine day in world of tanks, the Holy Loewe looked down from the forums, on a battle in Himmelsdorf. He was disgusted to see a Pershing called Shrek camping in the base instead of scouting for the arty. The arty were getting very angry, and even when the angry arty told him to move he just stayed there. The Holy Loewe decided to send a messenger sender tank one, or as we know them MS-1’s to resolve the arty problem. The MS-1 told Shrek that he must detect 100 tanks in the next two days or the Holy Loewe would make it so he could never stop moving again.                                                           Shrek was shocked! He could never do that, he had to seek help.
He started the search for help immediately, but where could he find someone with the ability to help him scout 100 tanks in two days? He soon found who, for there was talk about a magical IS-7 known as the Fairy Godmother, It was said that she had magical powers to give any tank one wish, but on a very risky condition. They had to slay a mighty tank known as the E-100, but if they fail they would not be granted a wish and be perma banned from the magic server. It was a risky task but first Pershing knew he had to find the Fairy Godmother in a distant land known as Siegfried Line living in a house called The Ol’Garage.
After days of trundling he saw a rotting sign, Shrek could just about make out Si...f.ied .ine. He had arrived at Siegfried Line, and the fairy god mother could not be far. And sure enough Shrek soon saw an old cottage; the name of this cottage was The Ol’Garage. Shrek drove up to the door and knocked the door twice with the tip of his gun. And sure enough a rusty old IS-7 appeared behind the door. “And what would you be wanting my young tank”? The fairy god mother asked. “I would like to slay the E-100 in return for a wish”! “Oh do you mean the dragon young tank, my I haven’t heard someone call it that in a long time” and so the fairy god mother went on a long tail about how the dragon was once a noble heavy tank of the land, and that he was driven out of the lands by a mob of evil Leopards known as the seven dwarves, after time the seven dwarves died out and the E-100 returned to the land, but all the other E-100’s had long ago left under the terror of the seven dwarves and he was very sad. He left again to the wilderness of Prokorovka to seek out his long lost companions and seek refuge, but he never found them, so he became angry and wild, he started terrorising every passing tank and the locals started to call the E-100 the dragon, for the fire it seemed to give out when it fired at the unsuspecting victim, And every time a tank tried to slay the Dragon failed. “So you see young tank, if you set out to see the dragon your future will look grim, but I know of someone who is said to have one golden shell that has the power to one shot anything in the land. “He spends most of his time in the Rusty Turret Inn in Ensk, He goes by the name of Happy Leichtraktor” said Fairy godmother “But Hurry, because someone might get the shell first!”
So Shrek raced of towards Ensk to find the Happy Leichtraktor and get the golden shell. After hours of skidding around he finally saw a sign over a pub, it was the Rusty Turret! Immediately Shrek through himself through the Door and boomed out “Are any of you the Happy Leichtraktor”!!? “That is me....” came a voice from the crowd, and as Shrek saw a small tank push himself through the front of the crowd he said “Are you in possession of a golden shell”? Shrek questioned. “Yes, the golden shell that is said to be able to one shot any tank”.
Shrek and the Happy Leichtraktor then drove to the house and the Happy Leichtraktor asked Shrek “You want to slay the dragon do you not”? “Yes, I need a wish so I can scout 100 people in two days, oh no, thought Shrek, he only had one day to slay the dragon! “I will give you the shell, but only if you bring me back the turret of the dragon” said the Leichtraktor. So the Happy Leichtraktor passed on the shell to Shrek and Shrek set his course to the Land of Prokorovka were the Dagon was to be.
So later that day he arrived in Prokorovka and saw to his shock a circle of dead tanks, Written in scrap in the centre of the horrible circle was: If seven dwarves set foot in this land they shall never leave again, for near this path the dragon lurches and with a golden shell and tracks of flame the dragon shall be slain: Shrek knew what this meant and he drove over towards the dragons lair.
The Dragon Emerged from the Lair and attack Shrek, Shrek tried to dodge the Dragons premium ammo but he was hit! His left track went flying into the air and the dragon trundled towards him, Shrek fried at his gun mantle but it did not penetrate, oh no! Shrek knew he was going to die but then he realised, he had not fired the Gold shell he had fired a normal round! He fired the golden shell, the dragon’s turret went flying into the air and hit the ground with a thud, and he had slain the dragon!  So he started driving home, but when he tried to stop for a fuel break he found that he could not stop! In panic he decided to go to the Happy Leichtraktor first, when he saw his house he flung the dragon’s turret at his door knocking down the wall. He then went straight to Fairy god mother and explained he could not stop moving! “I wish that I had never camped and that I had scouted instead”! And poof he was back in the match where he had been camping, but this time he knew what to do!

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The Little Red Tanking Hood
a classic story as told by Heinrich Kemmler
(4969 characters, including spaces)

Once  upon a time in the middle of a thick forest stood a small garage, the  home of a pretty little tanker known to everyone as the Brave Tanker.  The name came after the fiery red hood, which was always worn by him.  Well, actually it was not a hood, but rather a headset, but it really  does not matter, right?

Wait,  wait... why the red headset earned our tanker the name Brave?! Well, if  you ask, you probably never walked through a bull's pasture with a red  hat, right?

One day, a radio message came from the MUMMY command (Motorized Unit of Mad Machine Youths):

"The  Fairy sustained heavy damage. Take spare parts to her, but be very  careful. Keep to the path in woods and don't ever stop."

"This is a task just for me", thought the Brave Tanker.

He  went to the garage where 7 dwarves (serving as mechanics), equipped  Tanker's Happy Leichtraktor with a camonet and additional 110 Octane  Gas. And so they set off.

The Tanker was riding his Traktor singing a song, but suddenly they heard a cry. A very large tank was stuck in the mud!

"Hi there", radioed our Tanker "I see you're in trouble. Let me help you, mighty one!"

The steel giant laughed sarcastically.

"How can you help me, little one? I am stuck and you are far too small to help"

"I  can do it", said the Tanker, "I have a 110 Octane Gas and I'll give it  you, so you will be able to use your Maybach engine at 110%."

"Ok, I'll can try...", the big tank replied hesitantly.

"No", the Tanker said, "Do it or do not. There is no try!"

The bigger tank sighed and drank the gas in one gulp. The engine whizzed and suddenly the steel beast was free!

"Whoah! Thank you, my little friend! I will never forget this. By the way, I am Holy Loewe. Still, I cant believe this!"

"That's why you lose! By the size judge one not", the Tanker smiled

"Why  you speak using so strange order of words?", the Loewe scratched his  turret, "Well, thanks anyway. Just call me in if you need help"

They waved goodbye to each other and the Tanker continued his journey. Soon he forgot his MUMMY's wise words.

"What a lovely open hill. I will stay for a while here", he thought and steered off the path.

The  Tanker and the Tracker both didn't know, that two wicked binoculars  were spying on them. They were spotted by the evil kamper! The  Leichtraktor received a radio message.

"Hi, little one. What a pretty Traktor like you is doing here"

"I am on my way to the Fairy. My Tanker has spare parts for her"

"Oh, really? And where is your Fairy?"

"I cant tell"

"Come on, you can! I am from Support Team, you know"

"Oh,  that's another story! She's in the woods near Malinovka, but she never  opens the door to strangers. At least until they broadcast the password,  that is."

"Which password? The QWERTY?"

"No, no. The 12345"

"Oh, its a pity I don't know THAT password and cant use it. Bye then. Angry Arty over and out"

The Dragon, who drove the Angry Arty, was very happy.

"It  was piece a cake. I love to disguise as Support Team. I will take the  Fairy first and then I will kamp the Tanker", he thought and rushed to  Malinovka. There, he used the pass on the naive Fairy Godmother and  shoot her from behind. It earned him the "friendly fire" fine, but he  did not care.

Soon,  the Tanker and the Traktor reached Malinovka. The Fairy Godmother (but  we know it was Dragon in his Angry Arty!) let them in.

"Hi, Fairy"

"Hi. I am so happy to see you and your Leichtraktor", the Dragon tried to imitate Godmother's old FUG2.

"What a radio you have", said the little Tanker in surprise.

"The better to greet you with", said the Dragon

"What a big optics you have"

"The better to see you with"

"And what a big gun you have!" exclaimed the Tanker (not noticing the Freudian aspect of his question).

"The  better to hit you with my 180mm HE", growled the Dragon and opened  fire. The first salvo easily stripped The Leichtraktor of suspensions.  Now the poor Tanker noticed, that the Godmother was held captive at the  backyard! He was at the Dragon's mercy, but...

Suddenly, there was a loud explosion just in front of the Angry Arty.

"What?", the Dragon shouted.

"A  friend in need is a friend indeed", laughed a Holy Loewe! The Dragon  was forced to withdrew and Tanker repaired his tank's suspension. It was  high time, because Dragon and Arty regrouped and stroke back. Heavy  battle started and lasted till next day.

On Monday, Angry Arty and the Dragon won and took over Malinovka.

On Tuesday, the Tanker Team fought it back.

On Wednesday, the Bad Guys came better and reestablished their position.

On Thursday, the our heroes reclaimed the camp.

On Friday, Arty forced them to fall back.

On Sunday, they Tanker pushed the Dragon out of Malinovka again.

They  would be fighting to this day, but on Sunday Shrek finally came back  from his holidays and pushed out both teams from his own place.

  Our  heroes escorted the Fairy to the base and planned the strategic  offensive which finally ended Dragon evil acts. They learned one  important rule: "NEVER tell password even to those posing as Support  Team"

THE END

A  little bonus for all good and kind little Tankers: a trailer of a Tanky  Classis Fairytale Book. Coming to the shops worldwide till next XMass  :-)))))))
Yeah, I know it was beyond the scope of contest - but would you take away a book from a child if you could do so?

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