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Tank related jokes


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Rankkis #1 Posted 08 September 2011 - 08:57 PM

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So. Let's tell some tank jokes. I'll try first.

How do you stop a Mexican tank?

Spoiler                     

How many gears does a French tank have?

Spoiler                     


Chrinik #2 Posted 08 September 2011 - 11:53 PM

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Not much of a joke, but an urban legend.
A german tank commander of the Bundeswehr was to drive over the french border with his company for an exercise.
Upon reaching the french border post, he stopped, opened his hatch and yelled: "Yep, it´s starting again.", then drove on.

tedtank #3 Posted 09 September 2011 - 09:01 AM

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Why do the French tanks have mirrors?
-To watch what's going on the front.

What did the Maus say when it saw a Leichtetraktor?
-Are you lost little one?

A T29,an IS and a Tiger meet somewhere in Phovorovka.
T29:The only way to win is through superior turret armor and firepower.
Tiger:Hide,Hit,run,hide,hit.The way to win.
IS:DERP......
T29&Tiger:RETREAT!

What did the Panzer III say when it met the B1 bis?
-Wow!Those french have moving homes!

Rankkis #4 Posted 09 September 2011 - 09:02 AM

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Is this how it's gonna be after the physics update?  :lol:

Posted Image

Mutuh #5 Posted 09 September 2011 - 09:04 AM

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1.Germans have a strange way of thinking... Most people wouldnt think of putting one metal box on top of the other and calling it a "tiger".

2. Whats more plausible?  Joseph Stalin driving an IS or an actual tiger driving a Tiger?.. Do we care? - Nope. But a mouse driving a Mauss would be something I'd pay to see.

CrazyCactusK #6 Posted 09 September 2011 - 09:12 AM

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I killed a T-54...
















*Badum tch*

Voxal #7 Posted 09 September 2011 - 10:47 AM

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a little off topic but i heard that when riots started in London, French Goverment immediately send Their Capitulation to the rioters ;P

jup331 #8 Posted 09 September 2011 - 05:10 PM

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Q: How can you make a french tank moving forward?


A: Attack from the rear


Q: How broad is France?


A: 25 Tankhours



Q: Who won the first Tour de France?


A: the 7th German Tankdivision

yams42000 #9 Posted 09 September 2011 - 05:27 PM

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Ok but the joke about France are not funny anymore and not real...

vODkjha #10 Posted 09 September 2011 - 06:27 PM

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View Postyams42000, on 09 September 2011 - 05:27 PM, said:

Ok but the joke about France are not funny anymore and not real...

yes they are

Bodasz #11 Posted 09 September 2011 - 08:24 PM

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View PostRankkis, on 09 September 2011 - 09:02 AM, said:

Is this how it's gonna be after the physics update?  :lol:

Posted Image

You forgot about:
Posted Image
:D

gogolea #12 Posted 10 September 2011 - 06:18 AM

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interview with a Russian
What you use to go to work
Lada
What you use to go on vacation
Skoda
What you use to go abroad
tanks

tedtank #13 Posted 10 September 2011 - 10:28 AM

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French front 1940:

Von Manstein:Damn it!Army Group C reach a deadlock!Call the 7th Panzer Division to flank them!
SOldier:Who?
Von Manstein:Erwin Rommel's 7th Panzer Division!
Soldier:We can't find them sir!
Von Manstein:Give me that thing!Rommel!Where the hell are you?
Erwinn Rommel:Just a second,i am taking Paris and then i have to go for lunch!
:D

P.S:The 7th Panzer Division was indeed far ahead of the rest of the German Armies.So far that when the Wehrmacht had reach some kilometers away from Paris Von Manstein ordered that they "Ghost division" wouldn't be supplied with fuel.Rommel found no trouble,he took the fuel of the 9th POanzer Division and kept marching(real story).Also the 7th Panzer Division gained it's name (Ghost Division) because neither OKW(Oberkommando des Wehrmachts) nor the French knew where it was. :blink:

Ubertoaster #14 Posted 12 September 2011 - 11:27 AM

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What's the best use for a Sherman tank?
To roast marshmallows.

How do you stop a Japanese tank from advancing?
You just have to find a big enough rifle.(the M1 Grand will do the job)

What's the top speed for a French tank?
-20 km\h

Rankkis #15 Posted 14 September 2011 - 10:12 AM

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:Smile-bajan2:

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Battledragon #16 Posted 14 September 2011 - 08:15 PM

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Posted Image
....

Papzt #17 Posted 15 September 2011 - 07:33 AM

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Turret down position? :D

Catarraz #18 Posted 17 September 2011 - 12:06 AM

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-What's fat and ugly and isn't your mom?

-A T28!  :lol:

Yak0v_Andreyevitz #19 Posted 17 September 2011 - 01:54 AM

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Fiat Cinquecento and a tank have met. The tank starts laughing
"Cinquecento! Cinquecento! You've got a short ass!"
"Maybe I do have a short ass..." Cinquecento replied "But at least I don't have a d*ck on my forehead!"




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