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Chuck Norris


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Melibor #41 Posted 27 September 2011 - 12:14 PM

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Once, Chuck Norris came twice.

:)

Grippin #42 Posted 27 September 2011 - 01:21 PM

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If you see Chuck Norris you are in safe... But if you don't see him, you have only seconds to the death!

Dragoon_ #43 Posted 27 September 2011 - 01:24 PM

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When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.

See for yourself. He made an actually video of it.



Grippin #44 Posted 27 September 2011 - 01:27 PM

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View PostDragoon_, on 27 September 2011 - 01:24 PM, said:

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.

See for yourself. He made an actually video of it.



OMGGGGGG XDDD :D:D:D:D

TankDestroyer #45 Posted 27 September 2011 - 01:42 PM

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dont like Chuck Norris

Grippin #46 Posted 27 September 2011 - 01:50 PM

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He killed you :D?

Morganson #47 Posted 27 September 2011 - 01:52 PM

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Some ideas what happens when Chuck Norris arrives to claim his throne in WoT:

  • Everybody can play Leichtetractor, but only Chuck Norris can play LOLtractor. Who dares to laugh at him, anyway?
  • Chuck Norris uses Luchs to roundhouse kick Mauses into oblivion.
  • Chuck Norris in a Leopard is simply a noble form of faster-than-light objects. He could move that fast without it but he has style.
  • If Chuck Norris was a gun, his accuracy would be 0,01. Just you to think you have a chance he misses you.
  • When Chuck Norris opens his eyes, it’s instant oneshot kill for everyone. Twice.
  • There is team one and team two, and the third one is Chuck Norris. It’s kind of a battle royale until he comes back from the men’s room.
  • Chuck Norris can’t have a teamkiller status. You simply accept the fact that you were in the wrong place, in the wrong time.
  • When Chuck Norris teamdamage you, your vehicle actually gains health points.
  • Lag is the delay when Chuck Norris is blinking.
  • Chuck Norris is the camouflage itself. Your brain denies that you spot him.
  • Even a VK 3001 (P) is totally OP in the hands of Chuck Norris. Although he uses that just as a big metal hammer to pummel his enemies.
  • Chuck Norris approves the way of hetzing. He practises it all the time.
  • Chuck Norris has got the serial number in the VK series as „Infinity01”.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t need 15 minutes to finish a battle in Malinovka. Everybody’s rushing on to the meadow  not to delay the inevitable.
  • Chuck Norris can’t be a fantasy tank, because the whole universe was created from his blueprints.
  • There is not such a thing as Random Battle when Chuck Norris is playing.
  • WoT has to implement a Tier XI just for Chuck Norris. He is above of all, that’s all.
  • When you try to shoot at Chuck Norris, it’s not even a ricochet. The bullet is not fool enough to approach him.
  • AP is removed from the game when Chuck Norris came aboard. He is simply better.
  • You can’t buy Chuck Norris on gold, because he owns you.
  • Chuck Norris on the minimap is represented by a hazard symbol.
  • The MM crashes when Chuch Norris has to be put on a team.
  • The „american bias” is dated since Chuck Norris has appeared in WoT.
  • When you see the names together: Lee, Sherman, Pershing, Patton - you know immediately, that Chuck Norris is missing from that list. He doesn’t even need to be ranked as a general, because he is a one man army himself.
  • Fool germans used up nearly all the big cat names for their tanks, so all that remained for Chuck Norris is the designation as ’Panzerkampfwagen Liger’. Fortunate for them, it fits him well because he is the biggest and baddest, a hybrid of human being and something far beyond that.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t camping, he just doesn’t need to move a bit to shoot everyone from the same spot.
  • SPGs’ satelite mode is based on Chuck Norris’ vision – he sees our world and us just like that.
  • Repair cost of Chuck Norris is simply a theoretical value.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t angle himself in battle, he warps the space instead.
  • If the numbers of battles participated and medals, awards, achievements are equal, you know that it’s statistics of Chuck Norris.
  • Flanking Chuck Norris is just imposible. Remember: he has his planet destroyer roundhouse kick!
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t need to move at all to ram you to death.
  • Against Chuck Norris, using a Maus trap? Good luck with that!
  • In the description of the Chuck Norris Medal you can read the followings:
    „Awarded for destroying all enemy vehicles without a single scratch on yours, in a way that the tier of the targets simply doesn’t matter at all, because you are THAT awesome!

    Chuck Norris, a Hero of mankind, was born in 1940. The only reason why WWII could take nearly six years to end, because he was a child at that time, and his parrents didn’t allow him just yet to save the world.”
  • Chuck Norris types into the team chat at the beginning: „Good luck, I shall have fun!”
  • If you value your eyesight, don’t try to zoom in on Chuck Norris!
  • Ragequit became more frequent since Chuck Norris has started to play with WoT. Dunno why.
  • Before Chuck Norris, a team made of 15 SPGs was madness itself. Now it’s a trial to hold him back at least for some seconds.
  • Hiding in a bush is not such a good idea against Chuck Norris. You must have heard about the Missing in Action and The Delta Force movies…
  • Theoretically, detracking Chuck Norris is a tactical option. But it doesn’t work.
  • Chuck Norris uses Schmalturm for chamberpot.
  • It’s quite smart move to spend gold on changing a crewmember’s name to either James Braddock or Scott McCoy. Instant promoting to the rank of major (colonel would be better but still) with all maxed out skills. Yes, even in those which are not introduced yet.
  • Chuck Norris operates a tank by himself. Loaders would just slow him down.
  • Chuck Norris is already using adaptive camo, but the difference is that the map repaints itself to match his colours, not the other way around.
  • When Chuck Norris reaches enemy base, it’s instant win for him. Not that he needs to go that far.
  • In a Garage Battle, Chuck Norris won’t need the respawning feature, but at least we will have the opportunity to see in how many different ways he can kill us.  
  • When Chuck Norris finds out the CW part of the game, he stops his acting carreer. You will buy gold from him, and he obtains the Bahamas.
  • The new effect that’s needed because of Chuck Norris, either a mushroom cloud or when a gun slice enemy tanks in two halves. Yes, Chuck Norris is indeed able to perform fast roundhouse kick with any turrets, there is no traverse speed limitation for him.
  • RoF is not relevant parameter for Chuck Norris. He shoots when he wants to, period.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t have a weakspot. None, nada. You can use autoaim to your heart’s content, doesn’t change a thing…
  • Ruinberg is the scenery which depicts what happens when Chuck Norris is sneezing.
  • Chuck Norris uses the dragon teeth of the Siegfried Line as toothpicks. You can see remains of those ones he has already torn down.
  • Chuck Norris knows exactly where you are, there is no need for scouting.
  • Experience is for others, Chuck Norris was born with perfection.
  • Chuck Norris plays in platoon just to have some comrades to die while he shines.
  • Chuck Norris approves any other ’World of’ games. He is the lord of every medium and dimension, after all.
  • There is not such a thing as hard cover against Chuck Norris. It’s a virtual illusion for you to have the false sense of safety.
  • When Chuck Norris starts a battle he can hear in the voice of Morgan Freeman saying: „It’s time to roflstomp them all!”

Thank you for your time, I hope you laughed at least once!  :Smile_great:

Spoiler                     


Grippin #48 Posted 27 September 2011 - 01:54 PM

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WoW this will be a funny day again :D:D

Berbo #49 Posted 27 September 2011 - 02:49 PM

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View PostMorganson, on 27 September 2011 - 01:52 PM, said:

Some ideas what happens when Chuck Norris arrives to claim his throne in WoT:

  • Everybody can play Leichtetractor, but only Chuck Norris can play LOLtractor. Who dares to laugh at him, anyway?
  • Chuck Norris uses Luchs to roundhouse kick Mauses into oblivion.
  • Chuck Norris in a Leopard is simply a noble form of faster-than-light objects. He could move that fast without it but he has style.
  • If Chuck Norris was a gun, his accuracy would be 0,01. Just you to think you have a chance he misses you.
  • When Chuck Norris opens his eyes, it’s instant oneshot kill for everyone. Twice.

Thank you for your time, I hope you laughed at least once!  :Smile_great:

Spoiler                     

Excellent job mate! You really put hard time to get this done. I really appreciate it. +1

mihnea #50 Posted 27 September 2011 - 02:53 PM

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View PostArtyomSTALKER, on 26 September 2011 - 06:21 PM, said:

Object 704 doesnt have turret mate  :Smile-hiding:


well thats the point... maybe you didn't get it

Dragoon_ #51 Posted 27 September 2011 - 03:17 PM

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View PostTankDestroyer, on 27 September 2011 - 01:42 PM, said:

dont like Chuck Norris

You are a member of this forum since 11th April, 2011 and this was your first post.

I don't know what Chuck Norris did to you, but knowing Chuck Norris it must been horrible.

TzavaLunga #52 Posted 27 September 2011 - 04:21 PM

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View PostFnar, on 27 September 2011 - 08:53 AM, said:

Yes he did

Spoiler alert


Awww damn... i forgot about this one. :o

So... Chuck Norris is still the best.

Panzer3Destroyer #53 Posted 27 September 2011 - 05:17 PM

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Do the dew chuck norris and steven Seagal funny comercial.



NargilFenris #54 Posted 27 September 2011 - 07:30 PM

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The internet has lag due to being unable to full encompass the awesomeness that is Chuck Norris

Berbo #55 Posted 27 September 2011 - 09:02 PM

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Sleeping with pillow under his gun :D

Berbo #56 Posted 28 September 2011 - 12:34 PM

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Topic updated with your posts/jokes about Chuck.

CZACZAJA #57 Posted 28 September 2011 - 03:33 PM

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I was surfing through the internet and this is what i found :P
http://kwejk.pl/obra...9/superman.html

Berbo #58 Posted 29 September 2011 - 04:57 PM

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View PostMelibor, on 27 September 2011 - 12:14 PM, said:

Once, Chuck Norris came twice.

:)

ROFL xD

How you get kamikaze vs. chuck?

you don't :D

Berbo #59 Posted 03 October 2011 - 12:35 PM

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01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Berbo #60 Posted 12 October 2011 - 07:12 AM

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C'mon post more chuck  :Smile-playing:




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