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Dimly lit review of: T-34-3


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Dark_Cloud #1 Posted 23 July 2017 - 05:13 PM

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Some Chinese guy got high on crack and stuffed a 122mm into a T-54 and now it's doing something probably not or maybe yes.

 

As a premium tier 8 with preferential, most of the time you'll be beating smol innocent tonks and other helpless cubs and get paid stacks while you're at it.

This tank is said to be a one trick pony, but people are wrong because they're bad, so you will now learn how to not be crappy in this chinese Main Battle Tonk.

Things and treats: BIA, smooth ride, offroad driving, rammer, GLD, wet racks.

 

Armor The T-34-3s armor is generally bad, but you can get things done if you know what you're doing. 90 at the front at a decent angle, this thing makes low pen guns cry, but T71s make you cry because they pen every shot frontally. So you use side armor by wiggling and baiting shots into impossible angles around corners (this also works with front and bounces huge guns sometimes). The side armor is 50mm, do not count on it, but you can sidescrape when the angle is a bit obscure and the enemy is stoopid. The rear armor is literally card board do not show anyone ever, you are not the animu havi.

Turret armor is where the tank shines when rarely it does, almost 200mm frontally is enough to bait scrubs into giving bounced damage, but big tier 9 and 10 guns (platoons) will sometimes slice it up too. Beware of anything accurate and high caliber because hatches and turret roof are bad.

 

Mobility Dissappointing. It looks much faster than it is, weight around 36 tons, power a touch above 500hp, power to weight 14, top speed 50/20 where it rides reliably, turning speed at 52, turret at 49, so the gun gets around. It maintains a speed but getting there takes longer than you'd like, and it doesn't really do the quick cornering and getting off. ( :trollface:)

 

Concealment and sighting Concealment stationary 15/3, Mobile 11/2. Viewrange 394, signal 640. You can see things, but you're rarely a sniper so concealment can be BS anyway.

 

Armament Comes equipped with the IS' 122mm thicc gun with relatively thin penetration at 175mm. On the loadout above, reload some 11 seconds, DPM 2070, could be better, but good enough. Gun depression is bad -5, but good players can use it anyway. Dispersion is bad, aim time is garbo, you sometimes hit things and then you do colossal damage.

 

So what do I do with it? You play this like a hybrid heavy with low armor, so supporting role is appropriate. You flank, you wait around corners for your moment, and sneak about like a nin-

They're Japane- Shut the f*ck up.

And when the time is right you drop a huge crap on the enemy tanks, and get hit by an O-Ho to your flat side -900 please nerf WG.

Alternatively you can go with the mediums as the damage dealer when for once your team doesn't have a Skorpion doing it for you, you dash by the teams side and conquer new land for communist china to indoctrinate like a progressive American college, I mean,

it's never done before, okay once or twice and the system killed hundreds on its altair, but hey ho we can make this work, seriously why is this a debate in 2017 for the love of-

Shut the f*ck up, haram. Anyway you mind your armor, reload, gun depression, and chronic depression after the list of flaws you have to deal with longer than the count of American debt.

 

Now go out there and beat newbies who have barely cracked a thousand games and bought the Löwe because f*cking stupid people like Super_Nooble promoting it as a viable option.



Search_Warrant #2 Posted 24 July 2017 - 01:56 PM

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View PostDark_Cloud, on 23 July 2017 - 04:13 PM, said:

This tank is said to be a one trick pony, but people are wrong because they're bad, so you will now learn how to not be crappy in this chinese Main Battle Tonk.

Things and treats: BIA, smooth ride, offroad driving, rammer, GLD, wet racks.

 

Also.

 

"BIA, smooth ride, offroad driving, rammer, GLD, wet racks."

Rammer,GLD,wet racks

GLD.....WET RACKS

GLD?

WET RACKS?

Spoiler

Rammer,VSTAB,Vents/Rammer,VSTAB,GLD

Never use Wet Racks because you arent supposed to get hit in the first place.

GLD? who the hell uses that over Vstab?. please stop making reviews.

 

 


Edited by Search_Warrant, 24 July 2017 - 01:57 PM.


TheMarketGardener #3 Posted 24 July 2017 - 02:04 PM

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I can confirm this review is questionable at best...

Edited by TheMarketGardener, 24 July 2017 - 02:08 PM.


1ncompetenc3 #4 Posted 24 July 2017 - 02:19 PM

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It's like the "review" was written by someone who houses multiple distinct personalities, one of which is Donald Trump. :confused:

FluffyRedFox #5 Posted 24 July 2017 - 02:52 PM

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View PostTheMarketGardener, on 24 July 2017 - 01:04 PM, said:

I can confirm this review is questionable at best...

does that make it philosophical 



Y_O_L_0 #6 Posted 26 July 2017 - 12:19 PM

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View PostDark_Cloud, on 23 July 2017 - 04:13 PM, said:

 and now it's doing something probably not or maybe yes.

 

When?



Dark_Cloud #7 Posted 26 July 2017 - 07:47 PM

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View PostSearch_Warrant, on 24 July 2017 - 02:56 PM, said:

 

Never use Wet Racks because you arent supposed to get hit in the first place.

GLD? who the hell uses that over Vstab?. please stop making reviews.

 

Firstly y'all, I get it, these reviews are bad. That's the point, read "dimly lit", it comes from dimwit. I R bad @ tonks. Also because I could make a sh*t tier forced meme out of my IGN.

Also it's from my noobs PoV, I'd have called them as such if it wasn't taken. But I'll remind the reader in following editions to avoid confusion and various other regrettable turns of events.

 

As for equipment, I like to think practically, I'm not supposed to get hit, but I know I will get hit. Thinking you can reliably dodge/bounce shells until I stop sucking at tonks (basically never) is a 10 year olds wish fulfillment fantasy.

Also I based my decision on GLD because the 122 is a raging bull and needs everything it can to calm it down as soon as possible. Do not, I repeat, do not shoot on the move unless it's a last resort or it's the last shot you can get in before you're out of there. Okay you may do it at kissing distance but on the move it has the hit ratio of shotgun sniping in CoD, slug shots not counted.



Fewt #8 Posted 02 September 2017 - 08:20 PM

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I'm really liking this tank. Once you get around how it behaves it how to play it it's really fun.




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