Jump to content


The Officer's Mess

poems jokes fun relax break puzzles chess

  • Please log in to reply
367 replies to this topic

Dead_in_30_seconds #361 Posted 07 November 2018 - 12:27 AM

    Warrant Officer

  • Player
  • 4236 battles
  • 645
  • [T-D-U] T-D-U
  • Member since:
    11-07-2017

You know this time of year,

with fireworks an' all?

A time of year I grew to love,

when I was very small.

 

Well maybe I grew old sometime,

coz things ain't right they're not,

and if I was to sum it up,

I think they've lost 'the plot'.

 

When we were kids around the fire,

we knew why fun was louder.

Of Mr Fawkes, and parliament,

and how he used gunpowder.

 

But now it seems, it's been forgot,

hijacked by local gangs.

Who make the damned thing last all week,

bragging rights for loudest bangs.

 

So here's my thought, for what it's worth,

Let's stick to bonfire night,

With tighter laws on who can buy,

it's time we put it right.

 

Now I don't want to spoil your fun,

God knows it's all been earned,

but wouldn't it be good to know,

less children, faces burned.

 

 

 

 



SGT_Sprocket22 #362 Posted 20 November 2018 - 06:17 PM

    Staff Sergeant

  • Player
  • 28352 battles
  • 485
  • [BULL] BULL
  • Member since:
    02-14-2014

Just a follow up to a previous poem posted a while back. 

 

There was once a young man named Roger,

Who drove about Dover at nine,

He saw a young lady, she saw his big toger,

What followed was sex and wine.

Then Roger came home next Monday,

With young Sally behind in tow,

His wife weren't happy, she was quite grundy,

Till Sally grabbed her below,

Roger's wife jumped up with glee,

As Sally thumbled down low,

Roger was jealous of what he could see,

Though Roger's toger did grow.

 

After many long days of dance,

Sally took young Roger aside,

She wanted to go to France,

With young Roger she implied

Then Sally's hand touched him,

He closed his eyes with glee,

But when she grabbed a limb,

It seemed odd to hold a knee,

When Roger came to his senses,

He realised Sally was not there,

He shouted many offenses,

And grabbed and yanked his hair,

She had taken his cards and cash,

The girl had robbed him proper,

He said" If I ever see that bash,

I'll take my gun and top 'er".



Dead_in_30_seconds #363 Posted 25 November 2018 - 01:26 PM

    Warrant Officer

  • Player
  • 4236 battles
  • 645
  • [T-D-U] T-D-U
  • Member since:
    11-07-2017

The alternative is....

 

Removed it, kinda let meself down :)

Edited by Dead_in_30_seconds, 25 November 2018 - 03:59 PM.


Babbet_1 #364 Posted 26 November 2018 - 11:38 PM

    Second Lieutenant

  • Player
  • 12908 battles
  • 1,045
  • [WJDE] WJDE
  • Member since:
    12-13-2015

View PostDead_in_30_seconds, on 25 November 2018 - 01:26 PM, said:

The alternative is....

 

Removed it, kinda let meself down :)

 

I really can't believe that you would ever do anything other than behave in a thoroughly gentlemanly manner Mr Dits!  :harp:

Dead_in_30_seconds #365 Posted 26 November 2018 - 11:48 PM

    Warrant Officer

  • Player
  • 4236 battles
  • 645
  • [T-D-U] T-D-U
  • Member since:
    11-07-2017

Christmas is here, if you believe the hype,

it's even on telly, as I stand and type,

but please correct me, I'm sure I remember,

isn't it planned for some time in December?

 

My smouldering bonfire's barely cool,

so who the hell are they trying to fool,

by making out, no hint of sorry,

that it must be soon, see the Cola lorry?

 

You may call me grouchy, call me miser,

but can't we all be slightly wiser?

At least let's wait, it's getting scary,

before trotting out Mariah b****y Carey.

 

 



Dead_in_30_seconds #366 Posted 23 December 2018 - 01:29 PM

    Warrant Officer

  • Player
  • 4236 battles
  • 645
  • [T-D-U] T-D-U
  • Member since:
    11-07-2017

It has been suggested that we seriously consider re-opening The Officer's Mess, to once again bring our own brand of nonsense to the party; So why not? (Rhetorical)

 

 

Ho Ho flippin' Ho

What a crock of poo

We all play for WarGaming

We've 'ad enough, we're through

 

Coz' we do all the fecking work

While they take all our dough

Stick your Christmas up your *rse

Ho Ho flippin' Ho.



Babbet_1 #367 Posted 01 January 2019 - 08:27 AM

    Second Lieutenant

  • Player
  • 12908 battles
  • 1,045
  • [WJDE] WJDE
  • Member since:
    12-13-2015

Just popped in to wish everyone a very Happy New Year! Here's hoping that 2019 brings all that you wish for you and your's!   :)

 



Babbet_1 #368 Posted 30 January 2019 - 02:51 PM

    Second Lieutenant

  • Player
  • 12908 battles
  • 1,045
  • [WJDE] WJDE
  • Member since:
    12-13-2015

Can't claim this as one of my own I'm afraid, but it did make me smile!  :)

 

Ode to the Spell Checker

Eye halve a spelling chequer

It came with my pea sea

It plane lea marques four my revue

Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

 

Eye strike a quay and type a word

And weight four it two say

Weather eye am wrong oar write

It shows me strait a weigh

 

As soon as a mist ache is maid

It nose bee fore two long

And eye can put the airer rite

Its rare lea ever wrong

 

Eye have run this poem threw it

Eye am shore your pleased two no

Its letter purr fact awl the weigh

My chequer tolled me sew!







Also tagged with poems, jokes, fun, relax, break, puzzles, chess

1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users