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Who here has been in a Helo crash before?


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Tensim #1 Posted 06 August 2018 - 06:07 PM

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If you've seen Zero Dark Thirty, then you will know the line.

 

Tonight, I celebrated a key moment. I spilled my first beer* on my keyboard whilst playing WoT.

 

I've dumped numerous drinks on keyboards when playing Raven Shield, CoD4, and Arma. So I feel, as a newcomer to this game, I have achieved some kind of landmark - WG should issue a medal for such an occasion (in fact I might Photoshop one :teethhappy: . )

 

I apologise to my teammates. Whilst they were busy engaging the enemy, yours truly was frantically emptying beer out of his wireless keyboard and mopping work surfaces. It has to be said I still came second in the Battle Results!

 

So lets hear from all those who have abused their keyboards over the years. By tomorrow, I might not be able to answer any posts as my keyboard will have solidified (ironically, the opposite of Brewer's Droop I suppose).

 

* It was a very nice 330ml bottle of Estrella Damm. A splendid Spanish beer I first tasted on a visit to Cartagena in 2005. Previous keyboard abuse has involved a nice bottle of Bollinger (VERY upset about that one), a glass of Fleurie, a too hot mug of coffee and a puppy who ate everything (except itself).

 


Edited by Tensim, 06 August 2018 - 06:11 PM.


xx984 #2 Posted 06 August 2018 - 06:21 PM

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View PostTensim, on 06 August 2018 - 05:07 PM, said:

If you've seen Zero Dark Thirty, then you will know the line.

 

Tonight, I celebrated a key moment. I spilled my first beer* on my keyboard whilst playing WoT.

 

I've dumped numerous drinks on keyboards when playing Raven Shield, CoD4, and Arma. So I feel, as a newcomer to this game, I have achieved some kind of landmark - WG should issue a medal for such an occasion (in fact I might Photoshop one :teethhappy: . )

 

I apologise to my teammates. Whilst they were busy engaging the enemy, yours truly was frantically emptying beer out of his wireless keyboard and mopping work surfaces. It has to be said I still came second in the Battle Results!

 

So lets hear from all those who have abused their keyboards over the years. By tomorrow, I might not be able to answer any posts as my keyboard will have solidified (ironically, the opposite of Brewer's Droop I suppose).

 

* It was a very nice 330ml bottle of Estrella Damm. A splendid Spanish beer I first tasted on a visit to Cartagena in 2005. Previous keyboard abuse has involved a nice bottle of Bollinger (VERY upset about that one), a glass of Fleurie, a too hot mug of coffee and a puppy who ate everything (except itself).

 

 

never spilled a drink on my keyboard (While playing tanks) in 52k+ games..

 

Although now i've said that i gotta watch myself :ohmy:



Dead_in_30_seconds #3 Posted 06 August 2018 - 07:23 PM

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I spilled honey on it once, now the B doesn't work.

I spilled salt water on it once, now the C doesn't work.

I spilled a party drug on it once, now the E doesn't work.

I verbally abused it too much, now the F doesn't work.

I spilled Optrex on it once, now the I doesn't work.

I spilled something special on it once, now the K doesn't work.

I spilled French water on it once, now the O doesn't work.

I urinated on it once, now the P doesn't work.

Lots of people in a line fell on it once, now the Q doesn't work.

I spilled PG Tips on it once, now the T doesn't work.

I asked it too many questions, now the Y doesn't work.

 

 



Tensim #4 Posted 06 August 2018 - 07:34 PM

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View PostDead_in_30_seconds, on 06 August 2018 - 07:23 PM, said:

I spilled honey on it once, now the B doesn't work.

I spilled salt water on it once, now the C doesn't work.

I spilled a party drug on it once, now the E doesn't work.

I verbally abused it too much, now the F doesn't work.

I spilled Optrex on it once, now the I doesn't work.

I spilled something special on it once, now the K doesn't work.

I spilled French water on it once, now the O doesn't work.

I urinated on it once, now the P doesn't work.

Lots of people in a line fell on it once, now the Q doesn't work.

I spilled PG Tips on it once, now the T doesn't work.

I asked it too many questions, now the Y doesn't work.

 

 

 

Nurse! NURSE!!  The screens please...

 

On reflection, I think we have discovered WoT's poet in residence!


Edited by Tensim, 06 August 2018 - 07:55 PM.


gunslingerXXX #5 Posted 06 August 2018 - 07:54 PM

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Tensim, on 06 August 2018 - 06:07 PM, said:

If you've seen Zero Dark Thirty, then you will know the line.

 

Tonight, I celebrated a key moment. I spilled my first beer* on my keyboard whilst playing WoT.

 

I've dumped numerous drinks on keyboards when playing Raven Shield, CoD4, and Arma. So I feel, as a newcomer to this game, I have achieved some kind of landmark - WG should issue a medal for such an occasion (in fact I might Photoshop one :teethhappy: . )

 

I apologise to my teammates. Whilst they were busy engaging the enemy, yours truly was frantically emptying beer out of his wireless keyboard and mopping work surfaces. It has to be said I still came second in the Battle Results!

 

So lets hear from all those who have abused their keyboards over the years. By tomorrow, I might not be able to answer any posts as my keyboard will have solidified (ironically, the opposite of Brewer's Droop I suppose).

 

* It was a very nice 330ml bottle of Estrella Damm. A splendid Spanish beer I first tasted on a visit to Cartagena in 2005. Previous keyboard abuse has involved a nice bottle of Bollinger (VERY upset about that one), a glass of Fleurie, a too hot mug of coffee and a puppy who ate everything (except itself).

 

 

might I suggest:

E18895_800.jpg



Dead_in_30_seconds #6 Posted 06 August 2018 - 08:14 PM

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View PostTensim, on 06 August 2018 - 06:34 PM, said:

 

Nurse! NURSE!!  The screens please...

 

On reflection, I think we have discovered WoT's poet in residence!

 

I have been known to pen a verse,

about some noobs, or even worse,

those people who, for their own sake's,

keep blaming others for their mistakes.

 

Am I the only one around,

who's rhyming words this forum found?

I think not, take time to seek,

and you will find, I'm not unique.

 

So thank you nicely, my dear friend,

for these kind words that you do send,

I'll gladly be some rhyming fool,

and try my damnedest not to drool.

 


Edited by Dead_in_30_seconds, 06 August 2018 - 08:19 PM.


Bordhaw #7 Posted 06 August 2018 - 08:31 PM

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View PostTensim, on 06 August 2018 - 05:07 PM, said:

Who here has been in a Helo crash before?

 

Think you've got the wrong game sunshine. 



cellaman7 #8 Posted 06 August 2018 - 08:45 PM

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I've been through at least 5 keyboards since playing WOT. But to spill beer. That's a sin. Repent!

Tensim #9 Posted 06 August 2018 - 08:48 PM

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View Postcellaman7, on 06 August 2018 - 08:45 PM, said:

I've been through at least 5 keyboards since playing WOT. But to spill beer. That's a sin. Repent!

 

First class effort sir!

 

Shame you can't have your gun barrel marked to indicate keyboard destruction. 


Edited by Tensim, 06 August 2018 - 08:49 PM.


cellaman7 #10 Posted 06 August 2018 - 08:54 PM

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View PostTensim, on 06 August 2018 - 07:48 PM, said:

 

First class effort sir!

 

Shame you can't have your gun barrel marked to indicate keyboard destruction. 

 

Seriously. 5 keyboards and 5 pairs of headsets. This game is pay to play not pay to win lol

 

Even now. I have 1 headset that I can hear through and a 2nd i have to use to talk through


Edited by cellaman7, 06 August 2018 - 08:59 PM.


Tensim #11 Posted 06 August 2018 - 09:00 PM

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View Postcellaman7, on 06 August 2018 - 08:54 PM, said:

Seriously. 5 keyboards and 5 pairs of headsets. This game is pay to play not pay to win lol

 

My eldest child used to consume headsets like there was no tomorrow. Mind you, I think half of them were thrown across the room.

 

As he graduated as a lawyer this year I should perhaps point out that this is only alleged behaviour.


Edited by Tensim, 06 August 2018 - 09:01 PM.


OIias_of_Sunhillow #12 Posted 06 August 2018 - 09:33 PM

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Who here has been in a Helo crash before?

 

Sort of.

In the 80's I was in the RAF, and was stationed at RAF Coltishall.

I phoned up the Air/Sea Rescue guys one day, to see if there was a chance of getting a 'jolly' on one of their Wessex choppers.

"Sure, come on down".

Had a briefing, and was kitted out with the flying suit and helmet, and off we went.

What they didn't tell me was that I was going to be the 'subject' that was going to get rescued.

So we flew over the North sea, and they pushed me out.

They did a circuit, and came in to pick me up from the frozen waters of the North sea. 

This was done a few times until we got ' that', call. Could we go out and pull a guy out of the water that had fallen off a gas rig 50 miles out.

So off we went to try and find this unfortunate who would have been dead by the time we got there, it was January, and he would not have lasted long in the water.

Apparently we were on fumes and needed to land imminently on the rig to refuel. Or we would have to ditch. As we were coming in to land, all hell breaks loose on the Wessex, alarms going off,

and flashing lights. We thumped down on the gas rig with an almighty bang.

Made it.

The guys on the rig itself, all rushed over, and threw in a load of cases of beer, thanking us for at least trying to find their buddy. We didn't, but he was washed ashore off the Dutch coast 

six weeks later.

 



Tensim #13 Posted 06 August 2018 - 09:39 PM

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View PostOIias_of_Sunhillow, on 06 August 2018 - 09:33 PM, said:

In the 80's I was in the RAF, and was stationed at RAF Coltishall.

 

Firstly, thank you for your service sir. Secondly, an awesome story. 



WindSplitter1 #14 Posted 06 August 2018 - 09:40 PM

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View PostBordhaw, on 06 August 2018 - 07:31 PM, said:

 

Think you've got the wrong game sunshine. 

 

I crashed several RAH-66s and Ka-52s. Hinds, AH-64, Battlehawks, Super Cobras (Cobra6 ftw :D) are on the list :)

BSHDBCG #15 Posted 07 August 2018 - 08:46 AM

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View PostgunslingerXXX, on 06 August 2018 - 07:54 PM, said:

 

might I suggest:

E18895_800.jpg

 

Wouldn't that be worse when he starts banging his head against the keyboard?

Homer_J #16 Posted 07 August 2018 - 09:46 AM

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I've had the occasional instance of forgetting I've just filled my glass up and pouring it down my front, and there was the time I tipped a glass of whiskey over my lap when someone asked me what time it was but never on my keyboard.

rustysprite #17 Posted 07 August 2018 - 10:53 AM

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Solution to spilled beer problem...

 

 

 



malachi6 #18 Posted 07 August 2018 - 12:06 PM

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I never drink solo. In 30+ years of gaming I have never spilled a drink on a keyboard.  Many a crisp or potato snack has met it demise beneath the crushing power of the keys.  But so far no drinks.  Oddly, I do buy spill resistant keyboards.

Dead_in_30_seconds #19 Posted 07 August 2018 - 05:06 PM

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View PostTensim, on 06 August 2018 - 08:00 PM, said:

 

My eldest child used to consume headsets like there was no tomorrow. Mind you, I think half of them were thrown across the room.

 

As he graduated as a lawyer this year I should perhaps point out that this is only alleged behaviour.

 

What sort of parent allows his child to eat computer peripherals? Pfft, talk about lax control.

The fact that they were then projectile vomited across the room should have been a clue.

 

I think some of the problem was a misinterpretation of the word bytes, and the same with the true meaning of ate bit.

 

And, finally.

 

A group of terrorists burst into the conference room at the Ramada Hotel, where The Law Society was holding its Annual Convention. More than a hundred lawyers were taken as hostages. The terrorist leader announced that unless their demands were met, they would release one lawyer every hour.



Tensim #20 Posted 07 August 2018 - 06:14 PM

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View Postrustysprite, on 07 August 2018 - 10:53 AM, said:

Solution to spilled beer problem...

 

Fortunately, and remarkably, no damage done! Mac wireless keyboards are pretty well sealed it seems!


Edited by Tensim, 07 August 2018 - 06:18 PM.





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