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All Hail Future Tier X Tank Owner - the science experiment.


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Poll: Share your emotions. (566 members have cast votes)

You have to complete 250 battles in order to participate this poll.

What are your feelings toward noob players?

  1. I wish them the slow, agonizing, painful death (258 votes [45.58%])

    Percentage of vote: 45.58%

  2. I love them, they make random matches fun (182 votes [32.16%])

    Percentage of vote: 32.16%

  3. I don't have any feelings toward them (126 votes [22.26%])

    Percentage of vote: 22.26%

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TaTn #1 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:03 PM

    Lance-corporal

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One day when extraterrestiral life is discovered, we would like to send a representative individual from our species so we could make good first impression. Lets just say that that individual would not be my brother. But yet, he is in 80% of people that are existing in the cyber space.

My brother is 26 years old. His knowledge of internet starts with Facebook and ends with Youtube (Sad fact is, in statistical reports, he is in 60% of population that is using Personal Computer and Internet). He began using internet when all browsers had option of using address bar as search engine (and yet, he did not deduct that he can not do the same with address bar in folders), so he does not know about yahoo, google, intel, apple. He does not know what processor or computer memory is. He does not know what email is, he just know that he needed one so I could register him on Facebook. He, in 4 years never opened his email.
But he likes games. He does not understand concepts of tactic, strategy of planing. But he likes games. And he plays lots of it. Now, he progress in most of his games with brute force. And when it is not working, the game is broken, or just stupid. One must admire his dedication when he does the same thing over and over and over again, until he succeeds. There is no alternate ways for him.
After years and gazillion games we played in Pro Evolution Soccer (I appologize if someone is not into football) he played only with Manchester United. He never changed teams. He never changed formation. He never changed starting lineup. And I begged him for months to stop using David Beckham as left winger and Ryan Giggs as right winger. And he did not do that so they could cut infield and shot at goal. Every time Beckham sent crossball with his left, and Giggs with his right foot, part of me died.

Now back to World of Tanks.
I'm on my mission to get all my tanks (I'm progressing in 9 different lines) to tier VII. I'm doing just fine so far, but tier VII tanks can be very costly if you are a bad player. My brother showed some interest in WoT. And he likes to play with my big tanks, Tiger I, T29, VK 3002 (DB), M12... But when I realised that everything I earn in the evening, he spends in the morning, I had to put veto on him using my tanks.
Since we work in different shifts and have only 1 pc at home, I decided to create an account for him. I asked, explained, and got an answer that it will not be a problem that 2 accounts will be used on same PC. Just in case if he starts shoting his own team.

I played a lot of games. Many many in beta, and I got to 3.000 games now. And I have seen it all. Heavy/arty scouts, lets all rush this side and stop half way cuz one tier IX tank is guarding it but lets never go back to defend, blocking, TK, turning your back side so you could run away from enemy tanks that are 30m away with near speed of light that in this case is 20km/h, raging scouts without radio, raging arty without radio, tier VIII tanks with guns unlocked with tier V tanks, shoting only with auto aim and never aiming at anyting, Ferdinads rushing, Leopards sniping, E100 and Mouse tanks going uphill in Himmelsdorf...
There is not really much that can surprise me. But i just guessed that people are sometimes bored in random games and just wanted to do something different.

I can not really explain my feelings in last 2 weeks, while I was lying in bed and watching my brother play. I guess people from BBC documentaries must felt that way when they made first ever video of Great white shark hunting seals. Or, i guess, how those crazy people felt when they made photos of Rhinoceros or Lions feeding from 10-15m.
I was excited, terrified and amazed with what I have seen. I experienced a moment of epiphany. I was there, watching a complete, tactic/strategy/teamplay ignorant, 100% raging noob!!! I cried a little.

Why is this important? Now I can study him, make notes, I can understand the lemmings better. I can find out what power forces them to do the stuff they do in this game. We, as humans, fear and we are hostile towards the unknown. I hope that if I get to know his species, I will not hate them so much. I hope that I will find my inner peace.
With his dedication he WILL drive IS7 in few months. There is no question about that. And when that day comes...
Now, since I spent lots of time writing this, I need a rest. But after my afternoon nap, I will post my observations so we can hopefully all learn from them, and together make the unique NOOBS Theory, and to try and figure which natural laws determine their behaviour.


Thread moved to Off-Topic forum as it has little to do with game-play issues.

---Orree


TaTn #2 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:05 PM

    Lance-corporal

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Before we start, we should know that subject is very very angry person. Angry as Adam Sandler is angry in Happy Gilmore. Also, from past experience I know that subject does not accept any kind of help, advice or tutoring. He will use only his resources to complete his goal. Only after considerable loss of energy he will ask for help. The information that he spend 1 hour trying to google something in folder address bar and Win XP search tool (after he found it) before asking for help should support that fact.

THE NOOB EXPERIMENT
DAY 1 OBSERVATIONS
UPDATE NO. 1
THE FIRST ENCOUNTER

I was on bed, watching ESPN America, college football and my regular NFL update.
The subject is approaching the perimeter. Subject is lured with unoccupied PC. The bait was successfull and the subject is at the experimental station. Subject continues with his daily routine of checking his 1500 facebook friends and watching some youtube videos.
Subject opens games folder on desktop but seems bored.
Subject is reluctant to use WoT icon. Based on his previous experience, using WoT icon when other species are near can create hostile environment.
Subject asks if he can play WoT, and after he is given permission, he starts WoT.
Subject seems confused with missing email and password that used to be saved. He asks if he can have my email and password. After access to my personal information is denied to him, he shows early signs of anger. I informed subject that today he got his own WoT account, and that he can begin playing on his own, and playing with his tanks that he chooses.
Subject seems excited but yet afraid of the possibility of entering his very first MMO game on his own.
Subject refuses the idea, and asks again for my email and password just to play few games. After access is again denied to him, he leaves experimental station, stating that he is tired, and he goes to take a nap.


THE NOOB EXPERIMENT
DAY 1 OBSERVATIONS
UPDATE NO.2
THE 2ND TRY

It did not take long for subject to return to still purposely unoccupied PC. Black coffee, cigarettes, usual FB/YT routine, and the games folder. Mouse pointer hovered just for a sec over WoT icon, but subject choose to try Warcraft 3 and Hoyle puzzle and board games. His question mark pose, with his left hand almost touching the floor, and lazy movement of mouse with right hand and his head barely over the computer desk, clearly indicated that subject is not experiencing any form of pleasure during this activity.
I had to play this very carefully. I could not ask him to play, only because I spent, for him unknown, time creating account for him.
I asked the subject why is he not in the mood for WoT.
Subject expressed no desire to experience long progression through tech tree. That is when I used ace in my sleeve. I told the subject that if he uses his own account he will be able to play with me, when I am playing on different PC, or with few of our friends, and that some of them also just started playing. So he will not need much time to get tier III tank and be able to play with them.
Subject showed immediate desire to show them how to play LIKE A BOSS, and to destroy their noob tanks, not knowing that he will not be able to play against them, but only WITH them (we did not even touch training battles).
I managed to keep experiment alive and to continue my observations.
Upon starting WoT, subject once again had to face no email or password where they should be. He was informed that he has new email, and password that I choose for him. Subject was concerned with using this new data and remembered that he had email created for him some time ago (4 years).
When asked if he knows how his email goes subject answered NO.
When asked if he knows how his password goes subject answered NO.
When asked if he ever used his email, check his inbox or had any other activity with his former email subject answred NO.
He was also concerned about forgeting new information he will receive.
He was informed that his email is simple combination of his first and last name @gmail.com, and his password is name of his workplace. Subject was not happy with that, as they were too long. I wrote the information on piece of paper, and informed subject to save that in his wallet.
Subject continues with login procedure, and spends concerning amount of time trying to find @ sign on keyboard.
And there it is. New, fresh garage, with 4 tier I tanks and 2 premiums.

THE NOOB EXPERIMENT
DAY 1 OBSERVATIONS
UPDATE NO.3
THE OLDS AND THE NEWS
There is not much to World of Tanks. You drive forward a little, than you drive backwards rest of the game. If you are smart, you find first rock and stay there all the time and don't drive at all. You shoot, shoot, shoot. When you get bored, you use mouse scroll for zoom and sniper view. Then you shoot some more. After some time you start to actually aim for some "soft" or "weak" spots. You learn how to take cover and implement the "hull down" position. And that would be it. Everyone know, or if they don't, they will learn how to do this stuff. But it's the small things that make difference between good and bad players. As someone said about chess, you need a day to learn it, and a lifetime to master it.
Lets just say that subject was familiar with driving and shooting. His style could be described as Drive-by, or Gangsta style. During his ride with my tanks, it turns out he had no interest about anything else but shooting and driving. Its funny to me that someone can play game for more than 10 battles and to never find out what Depot, Tech tree or Store is used for. Heck, I even have decent tankers among my friends that had 500-600k credits rusting in form of mouduls in depot.
After opening his new garage, subject had 4 tier I tanks and 2 premiums. I got him T2 Light Tank, tier II, and mighty MkVII Tetrarch.
After going through basics, how are credits and experience earned, and than going back to WHAT ARE credits and experience, how moduls are researched and equiped I informed subject that he got 2 premium tanks, and that he got 300 gold as new player.
Subject was not happy that I buyed 2 tanks that can not be upgraded, without asking him.
I asked subject if he needs any more help, he said no.
I had fun for next 25-30 min while he was trying to buy new tanks in tech tree with his 300 gold.
And so we begin. Gameplay...

DougHole #3 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:08 PM

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Awesome

DerZivilist #4 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:09 PM

    Warrant Officer

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I found this writeup to be 100% hilarious, regardless of content. Have a plus!  :lol:

JayJay4466 #5 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:12 PM

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Brilliant! I am keenly anticipating regular updates into this murky and dangerous world...

shiftypowers2002 #6 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:12 PM

    Second Lieutenant

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FREELY AVAILABLE!


:D

elektrizikekswerk #7 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:20 PM

    Lieutenant General

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Please share some replays :D

Addi64 #8 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:20 PM

    Second Lieutenant

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I have seen the worst players with tier 10 tanks. too much time, and 5000 matches in just one branch will finally get you an IS-7 (was proofed today in the forum already). The game is around long enough for seeing really strange and dumb T10 behavior. Some people never made it past a Counterstrike mindset and game aproach.

I think it is fine anyways. Without them the random games would be boring and every round would look the same, and lot's of matches would end as draws.

XiTiX #9 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:22 PM

    Brigadier

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REVERSED

Le_Norris #10 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:25 PM

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Nice read, you made me laugh, hopefully coming more soon  :Smile_honoring:

CZmato #11 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:26 PM

    Sergeant

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thats really ROFL topic ... perfectly written. enjoy your lab!! ;)

Anaxagoras #12 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:30 PM

    Second Lieutenant

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Yeah, please, we need a replay-channel from ur brother, would be much better than boring german television :).  :Smile_great:

While playing nearly every day you can see a lot of strange behaviours (I guess they are infinite). But there is a logical dependency in this case: the more players are online, the bigger the spread, the greater the chance u and me get that alien in ur team. And everytime u ask urself: HOW ON EARTH DID THEY REACH THAT VESSEL????

Popovic123 #13 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:34 PM

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View PostDerZivilist, on 10 January 2012 - 03:09 PM, said:

I found this writeup to be 100% hilarious, regardless of content. Have a plus!  :lol:

Man...
You say it is your brother. Does it mean you have same mother, same father? In my country even some cousins are called "brothers", so I`m interested...

Seydlitz #14 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:35 PM

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I knew it - this feels like the scientists at the CERN watching atoms dissolve to record new elements - you know that the NOOB is out there but we haven't seen him in real life*. Keep on posting :)


*you do have seen of course those guys in the middle of Malinovka plain hammering first "Follow me" - then "help" - "help" - followed by "****** noobteam"

PadyEos #15 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:37 PM

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View PostTaTn, on 10 January 2012 - 03:03 PM, said:

he WILL drive IS7 in few months. There is no question about that. And when that day comes...
21.12.2012?

Best read I ever had on the WoT forums. +1000

Comrade_Rory #16 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:42 PM

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This is brilliant hahahahaha.

Crasydwarf #17 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:42 PM

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National Geographic quality material for sure.

Be sure to let us know what you discover by studying this rare species.

AngryBanana #18 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:48 PM

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View PostPadyEos, on 10 January 2012 - 03:37 PM, said:

21.12.2012?

my 17th birthday! :Smile-hiding:

Zozon #19 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:53 PM

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+1 I was worried a bit for size of it but it is great read  :D

Sepharus #20 Posted 10 January 2012 - 03:59 PM

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haha, i hope your observations will be done with the voice of David Attenborough observing this odd species  :lol:

edit: what he said:

View PostZozon, on 10 January 2012 - 03:53 PM, said:

+1 I was worried a bit for size of it but it is great read  :D





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